Biting Back
by AnadoraBlack
Summary: Vala Emerald has an issue with her temper. With a special bond she can't always control and her strange lack of control around a certain Marauder, will her last year in Hogwarts be peaceful? I doubt it... Rated T for early chapters being rude.
1. Don't mind me, I'm new

**1. Don't mind me, I'm new...**

I've always been good at it, as long as I can remember. No wonder why I had so few friends back then...

A second-year Hufflepuff had just entered my box, and I wasn't willing to share. At least, not with a girl having her first pubic reactions to the world. My puberty had been harsh enough not to cope with someone else's too, even for a few hours... I put up my special power once again.

The girl sat as far as she could from me, but I kept staring at her, quietly but obviously. Not in a bad, but not in a good way either. Just staring at her, maybe like I was seeing something extremely odd.

My power touched...again. After a while, she stood up, gathered her things and left the box. I could breathe again. I kept looking through the window when I heard four people coming towards.

- Here we go, I whispered for myself.

I still remember what I felt when they entered. Joy, hate, amusement, longing, anger, all mixed up because all four were so different.

Remus came to sit opposite me, but soon got up again as I went to hug him.

- It's been too long, I told him in his ear though I knew each one of the rest would hear.

- I'm glad to see you too, Val', he answered grinning.

God I love that guy. Probably the only friend I ever had, and will ever get.

- Guys, this is Vala Emerald, he said turning to the remaining three. Vala, these are...

- Rem', I know them. I've been in your house for seven year, ring any bell? I interrupted.

Sometimes, he himself seemed to forget about that. He blushed a little and shot me a "sorry" glance.

- You're in our house? Wow, how on Earth did I not notice you? then said the most charming and unbearable voice I knew.

Sirius Black. Sex-on-legs, and yet asshole as I never encountered before. Thank God until that moment he didn't know I even existed.

I didn't even bother to reply, and simply turned to James Potter, who I knew a little, seeing that he was madly in love (or obsessed, even) with my room-mate, Lily.

- It's been a while, James.

- Yep, he said while squeezing my hand.

I could see that he was gazing at Sirius behind me, but didn't give a shit what happened in his egocentric world.

We sat down again and Remus started talking casually with all of us at once, probably, as I knew him, trying to make Sirius' pulse go down. I could hear it as loudly as if I had my ear on his chest, but God knows I didn't want to tempt the adventure.

o°o°o°o

- Hey, girlie, said his voice again after a few hours. The sky was already getting darker, though only eyes like mine could see it yet.

I jumped out of my skin, but pretended that it was due to a very other reason than the first one.

- Oh, shit, for a mo I hoped you had left, I said coldly as an iceberg.

Remus rose his eyebrows but didn't comment. Sirius, who she could see in the corner of her eye, was on his part building up an answer. I got up and headed for the door, taking my school robes above James' head before getting out.

- I'm only heading to the loos. Hope you don't miss me too much until I come back, Rem'.

I punctuated with a wink, and Remus started to laugh. Never mind, he knew what I was doing.

While dressing up, I remembered for a split second what had made me change so much in a month. The pain stabbed me again as I saw his face enter my mind again.

Darren. My ex-boyfriend who decided to throw me away after our holidays together in Italy. Never wanted to die so badly. But when the pain stopped a bit, or faded a little would be better word, I took a decision that had changed my life ever since. Thank Merlin I didn't get worse than I was...

I've always had been shy, like madly shy, when I was at school. Mainly because of Sirius, or Mister Hot-Potatoe as I called him in my diary. Seeing that he failed to notice me, as everyone except Remus did, I started hating him, at first for not being the centre of his attention, and then more and more because of what he was growing up to be. An asshole womaniser. Holy shit!

Vala Emerald had changed skin during that summer, and only Remus knew about it, and the reason why. And now she had been noticed, what on Earth was she going to do to avoid him from stalking her? She knew him too well to be oblivious: he was good at charming.

What a shame. I was even better at coldness bitchy things.

o°o°o°o

When I got back to the box, Peter had already disappeared, probably looking out for the trolley. I never understood how he managed not to grow fatter and fatter over the years, he was eating a house a day.

Remus grinned as I entered sighing. I grinned back, but I knew the smile didn't reach my eyes.

- Is it all right, miss? asked Sirius on the tone of casual conversation with an idiot fangirl of his.

Once more, I completely ignored him and sat next to Remus this time, putting my head on his shoulder. He put one of my hair out of my face.

- You seem exhausted, pup, he whispered while I was already getting asleep.

- Yeah, well, I had an argument with my dad this morning.

- Oh.

I sensed him frown.

- It's okay, I locked myself in my room until my temper got down. Ate a lot of meat after that, almost emptied the fridge.

He silently laughed and I bounced on his shoulder. That made me fall asleep even more easily.

o°o°o°o

When I emerged of the numbness, I didn't make it clear I was awake at first, and let my ears wander.

Remus had stayed in the very same position I'd left him in. I could imagine his arm was sour now, and thought of apologizing. Then, Mister Bloddy-Hell started talking again.

- I don't know where you found that one. Completely insane she is...

I could only guess who he was talking about.

- Only because she doesn't like you? Remus whispered trying not to wake me.

- She doesn't like me, yeah, easily said as she is sleeping on your shoulder, you git... No girl on this bloody planet ever hates me. Give me two minutes and she'll kill to kiss me...

- You underestimate Vala. And Pads...try not to drive her mad. You could lose an eye or two during the process.

I remember I internally grinned. Oooh, how cute he was warning the prat not to drive me mad. Too late, the sound of his voice already made me want to rip him into pieces... But that was a feeling I was used to by then.

I yawned and pretended to wake up. It was completely dark outside. We would be arriving at Hogwarts soon.

- How long did I sleep, Rem'? I asked faking numbness again.

- More than a hour, he answered. My arm can tell.

I automatically sat up again, shooting him a poor look that made him grin.

- I'll live, he said poking me.

I grinned back. How much I missed him struck me then. He really was the only friend I had.

I looked quickly at Black, who was staring at me as if I was an odd animal? Great, taking my own medicine! And weirdly, I didn't find it uncomfortable at all. That was a change.

- See something you're jealous of? You'd prefer if you could sleep on Moony's shoulder perhaps? I grinned as if he was a five-year-old.

Surprised shot over his face, then anger.

- You! ...

Lily entered like a bolt in the compartment.

- Ah, there you are! she shouted at Remus. I was looking out for you! Follow me, if you please, Pr Slughorn wants to see us. You too, Pottprat, she added before grinning in my direction. Hey, Vals!

She hadn't changed an inch. And James was still getting on her nerves. Or was he?

As they closed the door behind them, something struck me. I was alone with Sirius Black. Alone and...womanly.

As I looked for him, he was already sitting next to me, his arm over my head.

- So, Vala, then. Have you really been in Gryffindor all that time? That's a shame I didn't notice you. How is that even possible?

I turned at him with the most cold smile I could put on.

- You were probably looking where to put your broom up to, I said.

He laughed, and I knew that the bark-like sound I was listening to was not a coincidence.

- Well, I'm going to have to try harder, then.

And he put his best charming woman-killing smile on his perfect face. I kept staring, eyebrows up.

- You're really disappointing, I said before getting up. We're there, I added before getting out with my trunk.

I didn't give a damn what Sirius Black was thinking about me, I just wanted him to let me be. And stick up his wand where I hoped he would...

**...**

** Jesus, is it me writing all that? OO**

** I got inspired, people. Two fan fictions at the same time about two completely different girls, and my one-shots still being written... Gosh!**

** Reviews highly approved of, if I get one then I'll be the happiest writer in the world! :)**


	2. When time goes blank

**2. When time goes blank.**

I just got out of the train, my pulse racing in my veins. I quickly got behind a tree and vainly tried to calm down. I could already feel my nails growing and touching my palms.

That's when I felt another hand, a hand I would know anywhere. Remus.

- Breathe, he whispered in my ear. Listen to my breath and do the same.

His breathing was quiet, and I put mine on his. Really easier to calm down when he was close to me. My fingernails took back their usual size, and I could sense my pupils go back to normal.

- Thanks, I mumbled.

- Anytime, he answered before getting his hand off mine and start to walk away.

I stopped him.

- Rem'?

- Yep?

- Don't you have the feeling that we are the halves of the same soul? In a non romantic way, I added seeing his eyes darkening.

He grinned again. That grin I could never get bored of.

- Side effect, he said.

- Well then, I like those.

- Me too, he answered before going back to his friends.

I kept staring at the moon.

I think it struck me then that I have been upset for a childish reasons. Childish being Sirius Black. And I thought I was clever.

o°o°o°o

- Vals?

I turned to face James. Strangely enough, he was looking quite disturbed.

- What's going on? I asked, no faking to be concerned.

- Are you...you know...dating Moony?

I don't know why, but I started laughing hard. This was so stupid. Me? Dating Remus? Hardly.

- No, I'm not.

- Ah... Ok, then, sorry for distu...

I interrupted, hoping my temper wouldn't interfere this time.

- What did you ask that for?

He looked uncomfortable again.

- Huh... I just wondered.

- Oh God, don't tell me the freak asked you to...

It all made sense suddenly. And I didn't understand all at once why Black would be so interested at me.

- Can you, please, explain him that us will only happen when Hell freezes over?

And I walked towards my dorm stairs.

- Hey, Vala! said Lily when I got in. Wondered where you were!

- I was wandering off, nothing serious.

She grinned.

- Nothing serious or Sirius?

- Oh no, not you too... I sighed. Everyone just keeps on expecting me to go out with that prat?

I'd have to look very upset, I think, because she looked suddenly angry.

- I was saying that to help! If you don't want it, then fine!

I sighed again.

- It's alright, Lils. I just... He just makes me lose my temper anytime he says something.

She looked suspicious. I knew why.

- I didn't get over Darren if that is your question, and besides I wouldn't ever go out with him. Not him. Ever. Even if the world depended on it.

- Wow. I never heard any girl saying that before. You must really have a good reason to despise him so much.

- I don't. I just hate everything he does, every gaze he gives me, every word getting out of his nonsense mouth.

I don't what appeared on my face, but that scares me...

- He he... Lily said. Maybe you don't as much as you think.

I sneered and got to bed. Me? Liking Black? Not in a million years!

o°o°o°o

"You look awful" was my greeting for Remus.

- Yes, well, somebody never let me sleep last night. Too busy talking about the news of the year actually.

- What's the news of the year? I asked chewing a chocolate muffin.

He looked at me jokingly.

I huffed.

He grinned even more.

I started snarling when Mister Hot-Potatoe sat opposite me, again trying his charms on me.

- Good morning! he said.

I nodded bitterly.

- Whohoo! Finally a polite response!

- Don't push her, Sirius, said Remus very quietly.

I didn't even bother to enter the conversation. Pr McGonagall came over at that precise moment, handing us our timetables for the year. She looked me over and again, and her piercing eyes made me uncomfortable.

- Yes? I asked shyly.

- Nothing, Miss Emerald. I just...don't see you often at this edge of the table.

- Yeah, I changed spirit over the summer, I answered before getting up and walking back to the dorm to fetch my books.

As I feared, I heard a quick footstep behind me but, as my hearing was extraordinary, I had just enough time to hide behind the hidden door leading to Gryffindor tower.

- Bloody hell! I heard Black yell.

I giggled slightly. I made him upset. One point for me!

o°o°o°o

- Welcome back to all of you, students! yelled Pr Freeman to get attention. Now, if you please, you have your N.E. this year and I want you to be ready for anything that's waiting for you outside of the school.

"Yeah, right. Do you mean Voldy?" I asked myself.

- This is why I've decided to found a duelling club for all seventh years that want to join. Here's the sheet, sign in if you like, don't do anything if you don't like the idea of kicking someone you don't like's ass.

This made up my mind. Kicking Sirius-bloody-Black's ass... Best thing I would do in my life.

When the sheet passed by, I signed in after "Peter Pettigrew". What the heck was he doing in a duelling club for? Then again, being a Marauder meant showing courage, but that wasn't the first word that came to mind when thinking about Pettigrew.

I hadn't noticed until then that he was sitting behind me. Until he spoke.

- D'like to lose against me, luv'?

I silently turned around and killed him in one shot.

- No, thanks for asking. I'd just like Remus to lose against me, for once... Maybe even unstrip him in front of everyone...

And I grinned.

How silly I was to make them believe there was something going on between Rem' and I... But yet, it was worth it!

**...**

**Second chapter so far, I love writing bad things about my second favourite character... I think it must feel like Vala's in love with Remus, but she really isn't. You'll find out about their bond soon enough!**

**Review, please!**


	3. Cuts, bruises and being mean

**3. Cuts, bruises and being mean.**

- Are you sure? Pr Freeman asked. You two aren't going to hurt each other before the end of the century!

God that man liked to joke!

I turned at Remus and climbed onto the stage, my wand out of my pocket. He was grinning too. Choosing to duel was something clueless, we both knew what was going to happen.

And it did as planned.

I tried everything I could to put Remus on his ass, but every curse I could think about, he thought about it at the same time. We kept shooting useless curses at each other for some minutes, and then Pr Freeman clapped his hands.

- Told you so. Can't understand how you can't be twins, guys.

We looked at each other smiling widely. We were twins, but not in the way he thought we were.

- Miss Emerald, would you please stay on stage?

I nodded, wand still at the ready.

- Now, who wants to take his or her chance? C'mon, don't be shy!

- I'd love to, said Sirius from behind James.

You've got to be kidding me. He was going to suffer a lot more that he was used to.

He climbed gracefully on stage, and I saw few girls giggling behind him. How pathetic. When he reached me, he got out his wand and put it before his face.

- 'll try not to kill you, promise, he whispered.

- You wish you could, I answered before turning away.

I was the first to cast a spell. Tried to stun him but he avoided it, still surprised I've been that quick. His binding spell bounced on my shield, as did his petrifying one. That's when I decided to break the shield and face him unprotected. He cast another binding spell at me, I just took a step aside and heard the spell hurt the wall behind me. I kept grinning before bowing back to avoid his new curse. He was looking at guard, and I was sure this was going to be the only chance I'd get.

- Expelliarmus, I said as if I was getting bored.

His wand quietly landed in my hand.

o°o°o°o

- You trying to make him fall for you? Remus asked, sitting on the edge of the lake.

I swallowed the piece of chestnuts chocolate I was eating and looked at him warily.

- You kidding?

- No, I am not. It seems that you winning over him earlier made him obsessed to get you.

He kept on plucking flowers that laid innocently at his feet.

- Well, he can get as obsessed as he wants, he'll have to use his hands 'cause I'm not helping him climbing on his bed for all the gold of Gringotts!

He smiled again, becoming his usual self I loved to be with.

- Have you lost your temper recently? he asked.

- Not since the first of September, why?

- Don't like the idea of you getting hurt again.

And he shot me another sorry glance.

- How many times am I to tell you that I'm not pissed at you?

- About a thousand more, I think...

I then heard, and smelled, two people coming over. The first one was James, I could tell from his aftershave, the other, seeing as he was walking slower than James, couldn't be someone else than Black.

I looked at Remus exasperated. He lowered his hand, silently asking me to be nice.

- Hey, Moony, said James. Hey, Vals.

- Good afternoon, boys, I said before eating a chunk of choc again.

Sirius shot in a rock passing by. He looked so silly.

- D'you want some? I asked James handing the bar.

- No, thanks.

- Where's Peter? I asked politely though all I wanted to do was running away from that false god that was standing next to me.

- Dunno. Probably robbing the kitchen again, he answered looking concerned at his best friend. You alright, Pads?

Sirius growled, I giggled. It didn't pass unnoticed.

He walked away from us, and I didn't know why, it made me upset. As if I could walk away from him, but not him from me... Was I getting nuts?

- You should get after him, quietly said my alter-ego.

He knew me too well...

I got up, ate the last bit of chocolate and calmly walked behind Sirius. When I caught up with him, he was almost already arrived to the Fat Lady's portrait.

- Er...Black? I asked my hand in my pockets.

He turned around so fast I thought he might have flown.

- Oh, it's you, he said.

I wasn't stupid.

- You knew it was me, don't fake it, I said trying not to kill him.

I already felt my pulse quicken.

- Anyway, I wanted you to know, for earlier today, I'm sorry. It was nothing personal. I just like to win, I lied.

What I could do for Remus, it was frightening!

- Ah... Thanks, he said, his eyes glittering again.

I froze where I stood, hearing his own pulse getting quicker by the second.

- So, you still don't want to try me, then? he said before taking a pace forward.

- Not in a million years, I answered myself getting closer to him, my hands burning, my eyes getting darker.

He failed to notice the change.

When he took my head and pushed his lips to mine, I imploded.

My nails were already long and sharp, my eyes were as dark as those of a cat, and I could almost hear a growl coming from down my throat.

My right hand met his cheek.

o°o°o°o

- I am a bitch, I said sitting in Remus' lap before the fire.

He put his left arm around me and opened his book again.

- No you aren't. He is stupid. And lucky to be alive if you tell me. How did you focus so easily?

I blushed and he raised his eyebrows.

- Well...I am a girl after all, no matter if I can't stand him.

He chocked in his own laugh, until I thumbed him.

- You are priceless, he smiled before giving me an Inuit kiss.

- Oh, Jesus... said a voice behind us.

He had got over it, after all...

- Can't you two get a room and prevent the others from vomiting? he said before sitting in the couch next to Remus.

My best friend giggled.

- You are such a ninny, he said thumbing Sirius in the stomach.

That's when I realised he was staring. At me. His eyes on fire.

I decided to back up.

- Remus, my love, I think you don't need me anymore. See you tomorrow.

And I turned around to kiss him lightly just in the corner of his lips.

He looked at me gravely. I knew why. I just grinned.

While I was getting up to my dorm, I wondered for the hundred time why Sirius Black would be obsessed with me. And then I remembered: he was a bloody, holy-shitly womaniser. I growled. For one second, I had wanted to make him jealous. Exactly what I didn't need to do... Or want, by the matter.

**...**

**It's so easy to flirt with Remus... *sigh***

**By the way, which one is your favourite, Rem' or Sirius? I change over time, I think today it's Remus, but I'll probably change my mind by tomorrow... :)**

**Review, please!**


	4. The big necessity

**4. The big necessity.**

I woke up early the next day. It was Saturday again. I hated week ends, most probably because there was nothing to do. At all.

I grabbed every school book I could reach and silently got out of the still sleeping dorm.

While getting to the common room, I headed to the chair I used to occupy since first year. The one standing in the shadow of a big bookshelf. I changed my mind. Those days were over.

I walked to the couch in front of the relit fire and took out my Arithmancy book. Time for homework.

Christmas was close already and unfortunately no snow has yet fallen from the sky. I smiled to myself thinking about Dad and the presents I had bought for him.

- Thinking about me? then asked a voice which I immediately recognized even though it was still half asleep.

Damn it. I haven't heard him getting down the stairs and it was far too early for Remus to get up. I put both my hands in my lap and started to focus on my breathing.

- Good morning, Sirius then said while sitting next to my books.

I didn't look at him but nodded anyway.

- Homeworking already? he asked yawning.

I decided to play his game. Meaning: being nice.

- I don't like doing nothing, I replied.

He nodded as if he didn't care.

- D'you mind if I finish my night here? Remus snores like the devil.

I started giggling. He looked at me almost angrily.

- Yeah, well, I suppose you knew that already.

I looked innocently at him and then resumed my homework.

o°o°o°o

When half the house, including Remus, woke up an hour and a half later, I was then practising Charms on the fire.

- Wow, said my best friend when he saw Sirius peacefully sleeping next to me. You didn't kill him? I'm impressed, he added before kissing my forehead.

I giggled at him.

- Hungry? then asked James, who I hadn't spotted yet. No need to wait for that one, he has a date this morning.

- Again? asked Remus while heading to the exit door.

He turned to me while we got to the stairs.

- I really think you're the only woman in Hogwarts, including the teachers, to be immune to the Sirius' syndrome.

- Lily's immune too, I said defensively.

Remus laughed.

- Yes, well, Lily is...she is...not free, he whispered in my ear.

James failed to notice, until I started laughing.

That was a good morning that had started that day.

o°o°o°o

It didn't last.

After the breakfast, I headed to the library to fetch some things to read that afternoon. I had magically spotted a book Remus had told me about and which he wanted to read, but Mrs Pince had wanted me to borrow it in his place. I was so heading back to the common room to grab Remus.

When I passed the Fat Lady's portrait, I saw that the common was almost empty, except for two or three couples, a girl working on my former chair and James and Peter playing chess.

- Have you seen Remus? I asked James.

- Upstairs, he mumbled.

I headed upstairs and walked towards their dorm.

I still thank Merlin I had an apple in my hand and that I was such a good actress.

When I opened the door, I saw at once that Remus wasn't there. His bed was the one in front of the door and it was empty. But Sirius' wasn't.

I hadn't heard a thing before I got in, but now it all made sense for me. _Date_, I thought.

Sirius Black was in bed with his girlfriend of the moment.

She wasn't even a Gryffindor, and was already in her underwear, while he was "only" bare-chested.

I did as I haven't seen a thing and walked towards Remus' bed, lifted the mattress and took his favourite book, "Celtic tales", which I knew he was hiding there. I then turned around, bit my apple and lightly said:

- Don't mind me, I'm just passing by.

And I got out of the room. I stormed down the stairs through the portrait hole, not willing at all to hear Sirius Black running after me to shout at me.

I was torn between anger and laugh.

I bit my apple once more and headed to the park. After all, it still was a beautiful winter day...

o°o°o°o

He had found me after all. I was enjoying the wind by the lake. Remus' book was sheltered in my cloak I put down by the tree, and there I stood, arms stretched, head up, feeling the freezing wind cloud everything I could hear of smell.

- Ahem, I said heard behind me.

I didn't move the least.

- AHEM! he repeated.

I was smiling inside.

Until he grabbed my arm to make me aware of his presence. I sighed and turned at him.

Oooch, I thought.

He was standing close to me, as if he was shielding me from falling in the lake. But most of all, he looked sad. I didn't know Sirius Black could be sad. Ever.

- What? I asked as angrily as I could, seeing that I felt something opposite.

The wind was still making me so peaceful I'd forgotten how to be bitchy.

- You...I...Can't you just...apologize?

- What for? I asked, properly stunned then.

- You know... Earlier.

- Have you apologized for yesterday? I asked, bitter again as the wind had faded.

He sighed and let go of my arm.

- She dumped me, he then said looking blankly at the dark waters. I've never been dumped in my all life.

- Well, that's new. Maybe she wasn't as daft as I first thought.

He shot me a questioning glance, and then it hit.

- You really can't stand me, can you?

His gaze was almost sad about it.

- No, I can't. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll try and find Remus, I have something that belongs to him.

And I left Sirius-bloody-Black alone by the lake. Took my cloak and Remus' book and walked towards the castle without a look behind. What was he thinking? That I _liked_ him? Huh. Lemme vomit!

o°o°o°o

Remus couldn't stop laughing. I patted his back as he chocked. James was laughing as well but quieter, and Lily was just looking disgusted.

- Did you see him...you know? she asked slowly.

- Merlin no! I think I would have given back my breakfast if I did...

And I made a grimace to mime vomiting. Before laughing again.

I suddenly saw a girl from Ravenclaw eyeing me hatefully. I giggled even more.

- What? asked Lily.

- There she is, I said nodding to the girl. I didn't recognize her with her clothes on...

The laughter began to annoy people around us.

"Sorry" I mouthed towards Hufflepuff's table.

But we kept giggling.

Sirius came late that night. It was unlike him, who wasn't missing an opportunity to yell to every girl who wanted to know that he loved eating good things.

He didn't even look at his best friends and started eating without a word. I felt somehow guilty, thought there was no reason at all...

- Lily, coming? I asked. Need to show you something.

We got up the bench and ran to the Tower. She still couldn't control herself.

- He's angry at you, she said between two chokes.

- If you knew how much I'm not interested. Sirius Black probably is the latest person I would care about on this planet.

- And still you look upset when he doesn't speak to you.

- I am not upset, I'm just...I think I'm feeling guilty.

And I resumed laughing. It was so silly!

- I should make a list of words I think about when seeing him. Dumbarse would come up first.

- That word doesn't even exist, she protested.

- Lilyflower doesn't exist either, yet you seem to like it when you hear it.

She blushed.

- No, I'm not, I'm just...tolerating it...

- Well, then, tolerate dumbarse!

We got to bed early that night, and giggled talking about Sirius until Mary and Emily complained.

**...**

**I have so many people putting alerts on this story I might explode with joy! Thanks to all of you!**

**Do you like how the story is turning? Isn't it too obvious? Tell me, I must improve!**

**PS: I beg you, while reading my story (not this chapter, all of it), just listen to "Flowers for a ghost" by Thriving Ivory, "Losing your memory" by Ryan Star and "Wild Horses" by Charlotte Martin, these are the ones I'm writing to... :)**


	5. Down there

**5. Down there.**

One week later, I still was assaulted every time I was getting in or out a room. Any time I would want a time alone in the library or even in the common room, a bunch of fangirls would come to me and tell me using very effective words that I was a slut. Thank you very much Black.

Remus wasn't doing anything to help me, as he was himself insulted every time he was approaching me. Which resulted in the fact that I was getting angry really easier.

That Saturday, I got up early, as usual, and found myself, for once, alone in the commons. I quickly did my homework for the following week, got up the stairs to fetch my cloak and practically ran out of the castle. I went straight to the Forbidden Forest and didn't care at all that it was forbidden. Hagrid knew I liked to talk with the centaurs, one the only inhabitants to look at me without pity in their eyes.

Unfortunately for me, that morning, the centaurs were on a hunt. Their clearing was empty, and the remains of their fire meant that they had left early. I sighed and headed back for the castle, wondering where I could hide the entire day.

I froze when I arrived at the end of the forest, where the trees suddenly stopped. Voices were coming from the rocky road. Voices I would recognize everywhere. James and Black had waken up earlier than usual... Dammit!

I didn't want to eavesdrop, no matter what or who they were talking about, I could already hear my pulse starting to quicken in my veins. I had to go away from them and breathe slowly to calm down. Why on Earth was I reacting like that every time he was getting close? Mystery.

I finally found a little patch of wood near the lake, sat myself in the centre of it, sat as a fakir and started breathing quietly, focusing on the birds above me, the soft wind that was making the trees move, and the sound of the water nearby. Calming down, I started collapsing.

o°o°o°o

I don't remember why I woke up, I just remember that my first thought was that I was hungry. But, as I knew it would mean enter the castle again and being once more insulted by stupid girls, I stood there and watched through the trees where I knew the "Marauders tree" was. I could spot Peter with his hand full of food, and cursed the sky I couldn't make it fly my way without being discovered. I also spotted James with his glasses, and the tall, dark brown haired git that was standing next to him, looking in my direction. I shuddered and then breathed calmly. There was no way he could see me from this distance, Animagus or not.

Remus was nowhere to be seen, but it was too early for him to go hiding in the Shrieking Shack. I then understood when his hand touched my shoulder.

- What are you doing here? he asked me, concerned.

- I...I am...hiding, I almost whispered.

He sighed and sat next to me.

- They are stupid. It'll calm down in a dozen.

- You perfectly know that I can't afford gently sitting in the common and waiting for them to stop annoying me. I almost lost my temper the other day, when that silly girl he dates, Lissia, shouted in front of everyone that I was a whore. I don't even understand why she would say that...

I took my head in my hands, my stomach hurting from being empty.

Remus handed me a piece of bread and a huge part of cheese. I thanked him with a gaze.

- You're the best.

- You don't say this enough... he grinned.

- I'm so tired of hiding all day. And tonight's full moon, if it gets grumpy I will have to escape to the woods.

- Why don't you go to the Hospital Wing? Madam Pomfrey knows about you, she maybe has something to help you sleeping, and I guess there won't be a bunch of idiots to come and annoy you there. And I'll join you in the morning anyway, he added bitterly.

I put a hand on his.

- Don't be so bitter. You are who you are, there is no need to scratch yourself about it.

He looked lighter but still sad. He then spotted his friends through the trees.

- Oh, I see why you hid in here, he said as I saw Black still looking towards us.

- D'you think he can see us? I asked.

- Dunno. Maybe he senses you're there, Miss Who-doesn't-like-him.

I laughed a little.

- He is so childish.

- He is. Listen, I gotta go or they will wonder where I am. When everyone's gone, Desillusionate yourself and go to the Hospital. Seriously, he added pointing at me. See you.

And he went away.

I resumed watching his best friends as Peter was getting up and heading back to the castle, and as James asked a question to Black who, for the first time since I started watching, looked away from the patch.

I got up and made myself disappear. What a shame this curse didn't last long!

o°o°o°o

- Why didn't you come earlier, Miss Emerald! I was concerned you mightn't focus in those situations!

Madam Pomfrey was looking at me as an angry mother, both her hands on her hips, as I was climbing unwillingly in a bed she had ready for me "just in case".

- I...can focus when Remus is there.

- Well, as I understood it, he won't be there during the three next days, she said. Here, take this, it'll help you sleeping a little.

When she handed me the goblet, she put her hand on my cheek.

- You're freezing! No, seriously, Vala, she said more lightly, you should have come earlier. You're destroying yourself with this...pathology.

I looked at her affectionately.

- Thank you, Madam Pomfrey. Really. You're one of the only people not to judge me.

She patted my cheek and went away to another student who was needing her more than me. I drank all the potion at once, and already felt myself go in another plan of existence...

o°o°o°o

As I woke up, I understood three things at once. First, it was night. I had slept for than 8 hours in a row. Second, Madam Pomfrey was nowhere to be seen. She must had gone to the Shrieking Shack with Remus. Third, there was a presence at my side. And it wasn't friendly.

- So you're awake then, bitch, said a girly voice.

Great. Lissia had finally found me. What the HELL was she doing there?

She must have seen my eyes widen, and she sneered.

- I'm here to give you what you deserve. Sirius is mine, _mine_, d'you understand? Never dare to get close to him or you'll...

She surely had seen my questioning look. Close to Black? That was a first!

As I leant forward to get up, Lissia got up herself. Her hand slapped my cheek with surprising strength. I looked at her, half-surprise, half-angry. I heard my pulse starting racing and thought that I had to get out of here if I didn't want to murder someone.

I got up as quickly as I could and, getting out of the hospital, I heard her shouting at me.

- Yeah, run away, you idiot!

That was enough for my temper to take control.

I ran to the Forest, knowing for sure that there was no way I could control myself. As I passed close to the Whomping Willow, I heard other heartbeats, but the Marauders never would have wanted to see me like that. For their sakes.

I reached the other side of the Forest in no time, leaning close to the Wall. My fingernails were longer than ever, and I could see as bright as during the day. My teeth were already getting shaper by the second, and it was only a question of time before I would totally lose control. I prayed that I wouldn't hurt anyone.

Before I could focus on that thought, I heard someone running. No, not someone. Something. I sighed in relief. If the centaurs had spotted me, I was safe. Last time they tied me to a tree and waited for my temper to get down.

It wasn't the centaurs. It was a huge black dog with grey eyes. I looked at him in chock and looked down at my hands, which he was glaring at. When he looked up at my eyes, I took the opportunity.

- Black, please get out of here. GET OUT! I shouted as I felt my mind go numb.

In a second he had turned. He approached me, took my hands and stared at it.

- What...happened to you? he asked gently.

It didn't work.

- I...I'm...I'm losing sight... I'll hurt people. Please get out... I need to calm down... I need to calm down, I repeated slower as I suddenly felt my spirit getting wild.

It was too late. I heard myself growling at Black, and sensed my body getting tense as it wanted to get his grip lose and attack him.

One second after, he was kissing me, holding my hands in a tight grip.

My mind got back to where it belonged. I was focusing on my transformation as my teeth were getting back to normal. I didn't even realise I was kissing him back.

He put my hands on his back and kissed me even more eagerly, as I wasn't thinking about what was happening at all. All I could think about was my sight getting darker and my nails growing backwards. If I could have sighed in relief, I would have.

When I had completely turned to normal, I suddenly understood what was going on. I froze where I stood, provoking Black to stop kissing me.

He took a pace backwards and stared at me, his eyes burning. I started heading for the castle, leaving him behind.

- Thank you, Black. I think you should head for Remus now, he might need you.

And in no time I was running.

What had just happened? My mind burnt while I was trying to put words on the feelings I had just moments before.

Why, why did I kiss him back?

o°o°o°o

When I got into my bed in the hospital, I thought that it wouldn't get easier with the fangirls. At all...

**...**

**Sorry for writing slow, I have a problem with inspiration for the mo... Hope it doesn't get boring... :)**

**For those who would wonder, Vala isn't in love with Sirius...yet. Let's just say that her body is, not her mind... :p**

**Review, for Merlin's sake!**


	6. Christmas all are enjoying

**6. Christmas all are enjoying.**

"Vala! Vals, get up for Merlin's sake!"

A voice came blurringly into my aching ears. I suddenly understood someone was shaking me. I opened my eyes.

Lily was sitting on me, both her hands on my shoulders as she had been shaking me awake. She looked into my eyes and smiled widely. Gosh she was beautiful.

"Merry Christmas, Vals!" she then said before jumping out of my bed.

I sat up and smiled as well. It was Christmas. Our presents were waiting for us at the feet of the beautiful pine tree we had cursed for the occasion. Mary and Emily both looked as awful as I.

"Lily, don't tell me you have awaken all the dorm?" I asked faking anger.

"I have", she said smiling even more widely.

I knelt beside the three of them.

"Merry Christmas girls", I said.

We greeted each other and then turned to our gifts.

I opened my grandmother's first. It was wrapped in a lime green paper and her shaking writing was saying "All the love in the world isn't enough to describe how I love you, Granny". I smiled at it and unwrapped the present being very careful not to tear the paper apart.

It was a little jewel box with a secret compartment in it. A hidden paper said "Because being 17 means having secrets". I laughed a bit and put it carefully on my bed behind me.

Next was my Dad's present. I knew it would be beautiful as always, but that one had a particular sonority.

It was a heart locket with my mother's picture in it, as well as an inscription in ancient Greek. I felt a single tear come down my cheek as I watched Mummy waving at me from under a canopy of flowers.

"What does it mean?" asked Lily as she was glancing at my locket.

I wiped the tear away.

""Δεν έχει σημασία ποιος είσαι, είναι αυτό που κάνεις αυτό που μετράει ". "It's not who you are but what you do that counts"."

"It's...appropriate", she said before looking at the picture book she had received from her own parents.

"Your present is useful as well. We'll do loads of picture of James, if you want..."

She thumbed me hard in the stomach but I saw that it had worked. She returned to her gifts smiling again.

The last present I had was Remus'. I knew he would offer me something, as always, to remind me we were special.

This time I was surprised. He had offered me a jewel. A golden wrist-chain where were written spells in a ancient language I recognized as Saxon. I reckoned it must have been a healing bracelet and I wore it at once.

Lily turned to me with her green eyes wide opened as she had spotted my present for her.

"Vals! You shouldn't have!"

She leant forward and hugged me tightly. I took the two silvery earrings and put it to her ears.

"I asked my Dad to find the greenest earrings he could find. It makes your eyes bigger and greener."

She looked properly stunned.

"Thanks so much Vals. Next to it my gift is nonsense..."

"No gift has no sense, Lils. Show me", I said stretching my hand.

She handed me a little box with every flavour chocolate.

"They come from Belgium. They are the best and I know you like it", she said looking awkward.

I hugged her as tightly as she had done with me.

"You really are a precious friend, Lily Evans", I whispered in her ear.

We got down to the commons wearing our pyjamas, but for once I didn't care what I would look like to the others... I had my mum close to my heart, my best friend at my wrist, and I was already tasting the best cinnamon chocolate in the world...

o°o°o°o

"Thanks a lot for the chain, Rem'. Loved it very much", I said before leaning and kissing him on the cheek.

He was already eating a piece of cake James' mother had sent for Christmas, and Peter had eaten almost half of it already. Really, this guy was creepy.

"You're very welcome, Vala. I myself really appreciated the book."

I smiled. I had offered him the runic version of Dracula.

"Ahem, Vala, I'd like to...well...Merry Christmas", then said James handing me a small present.

"Oh, James!" I said surprised. "I'm so sorry, I haven't got anything for you", I added feeling awkward.

The last thing I would have come up with was receiving a Christmas present from James Potter.

"Well, now you know you can offer me something for my birthday", he said smiling sincerely.

I sighed as he wasn't angry with me, and I unwrapped the present as quickly as I could.

It was a book. A tiny blue book. "How to cope with boys under thirty."

"Oh. Thanks a lot, James. Very useful indeed", I said before kissing him on the cheek laughing. "But I don't think I need that for Remus", I added spitting my tongue at him jokingly.

"Oh, it wasn't intended for him", he said.

"I can understand it, thanks."

I climbed the stairs back to our dorm to hide the book under my mattress. What was he thinking I needed the book for? Or maybe it was an innocent attempt to find me a boyfriend?

When I joined them again, Lily had turned red during my absence, and James was looking at his feet. A single rose lying in her hand. I took her other hand, making her look at me, and said:

"Lils, I think you'd better put your present safely in our dorm before we go to breakfast."

She nodded, still blushing, and we reached the door in no time.

"So, when are you telling him?" I asked as soon as the door was closed.

"Say what to whom?" she said innocently.

"Lily..." I said grinning.

"He...he...he hasn't asked me out yet."

"There's a dance tonight, isn't it?"

"Yes, wh...why?" she asked trying to remain calm.

"Nothing, nothing" I said as I opened the door once more. "C'mon, we'd better go or Peter will eat all the Christmas pudding."

And when we reached the Great Hall, we were laughing together as real friends.

o°o°o°o

"Wow, Lily, you are...stunning", I said once she got out of the bathroom.

And she really was. Her dark blue velvet dress was highlighting her hair, and my green earrings were making her eyes glitter.

"Thanks, Vals. You too you know", she added before making me turn towards the mirror.

I was pretty, I guess. My plain black dress was highlighting my dark red hair, and the eye-liner she had begged to put on me was making my eyes bluer. My locket was bouncing on my chest and Remus' charm-chain was wrapped around my wrist.

"Shall we?" she then said taking my arm.

"Lils, if he doesn't ask you, I'll kill him", I said before kissing her cheek.

And then it happened. When we got down the stairs, James looked as if the sun itself had shown in the room. Once we reached the commons floor, I walked towards Remus to let them be.

"About bloody time, don't you think?" he said before taking my hand. "You're gorgeous by the way."

"You too, Rem'."

"Yeah, well, I thought I might not make you ashamed of me so I asked for help. This" he said pointing the smoking he was wearing, "is Sirius."

"Remind me to thank him", I said before heading for the portrait.

Once we arrived there, the prefects taking names as only adult students or under-age-with-an-adult-partner could come, I spotted Lissia waiting for her boyfriend. I whispered in Remus' ear and we stared at her from head to toe as if she was the ugliest thing on Earth.

When we began to get down the stairs, Remus leaned towards me.

"You're such a bitch."

"Yes sir! At last I had a bit of revenge!" I added throwing my fist in the air.

When we reached the Great Hall, Madam Pomfrey took me apart.

"Vala, I thought you might appreciate this", she said handing me a tiny pink potion.

"What is it, Ma'am?" I asked looking at it dazzled.

"It's a calming potion. I thought, as it's a festive evening, that you would like to be in peace. You can drink half now and the rest around midnight", she added looking at her watch.

"Thank you so much", I said hugging her a little. "You're a real angel."

And before she turned on her heels grinning from ear to ear, I drank half the bottle at once and felt at peace at once.

"'told you she was the best nurse ever", whispered Remus who had come behind me.

"Shut up, you, and let's go dancing!"

I took his hand and together we ran to the Great Hall laughing hard.

**...**

**I used to hate her, but now, as I read a lot of fan fics (too much perhaps), I'm starting to love Lily... So I just wanted her to be beautiful, just like I'm sure she was in J.K.'s head.**

**I put three winks in this chapter, one for ancient Greek, which I loved studying at school, Belgium which is my birth country though I hope I get out of there as soon as possible (personal matters) and one for charm-chains which I love. Indians were the best...**

**Next chapter: the ball and Sirius' Christmas gift... Don't wait for a couple make-up though, too early for that... :)**


	7. Dancing isn't a gift, they said

**7. Dancing isn't a gift, they said.**

_Warning: if you want the playlist I wrote this chapter to, just listen to "Only if for a night" (Remus and Vala's "waltz"), "Shake it out" (Vala's solo), "Never let me go" (Sirius and Vala's dance) and "Leave my body" (last part :p ) by Florence and the Machine... No, easier, get her last album! :D_

We got a table near the dance. James and Lily got up with us nearly after, their eyes glittering like those of mad people. I started giggling but neither noticed. They silently sat next to us and looked at each other as if they wanted to eat the other. I looked away.

Remus was adjusting Peter's bow-tie, but the poor boy (or was he?) didn't have anyone to dance with, so he just headed towards the buffet.

I suddenly spotted Regulus, Sirius' brother, sitting red faced next to a Hufflepuff girl I recognized as Madelin, a six-year who had dated Sirius a year ago. I thought that she might have been a Pure-Blood or he would never have asked her out...

On the dance-floor, I spotted Mary with her partner, Greg, and they were obviously having a great time. Some other couples I didn't recognize started twisting on the music, and I looked at Remus.

"Have you improved?" I asked showing the others dancing.

He shook his head.

"Not in the slightest, I'm afraid. You'll have to dance alone, dearest. I really am awful."

He raised his eyebrows seeing I was getting up with a malicious look in my eyes.

"Then, we'll be awful together", I said before pulling him out of his chair.

He protested but I won that part.

The last song stopped and a softer one started. I saw the other couples either splitting up and dance alone or waltzing. I took the second option.

"Rem', put you right hand on my waist and let me guide you", I said over the music.

He did as I asked but still looked sick. I laughed.

"One, two, three, you see, follow my steps."

We were awful together, but having so much fun. In the end, we had managed to waltz almost properly seeing as I was the leader. I even made Remus turn from time to time, and I saw James pointing at us giggling. I laughed myself. Gosh Madam Pomfrey's potion was a miracle.

o°o°o°o

When the song ended, I saw that two or three of the others had stopped to watch us "dance". They even mocked us and applauded, and I bowed to them. Remus was redder than I ever saw him before.

When we went back to sit next to James and Lily, they applauded us as well.

"Well done, Vals", said James. "That's the first time I see Moony on a dance-floor without getting sick."

"I've always been", he replied. "Too many turns."

We laughed together and I spotted Lily looking dreamingly at James.

That's when Sirius and Lissia joined us. I was in no mood to see that bitch yet, so I turned to Lily, properly ignoring them both.

"Lils, d'you fancy dancing with me?" I asked as a quicker song had started.

"No, thanks, Vala, not now."

I shrugged and got up at once, heading for the dance on my own. I started twisting and turning all alone, eyes closed, only focusing on the surrounding heartbeats to know when I was nearly hustling someone.

o°o°o°o

"D'you fancy being the centre of attention?" asked a voice when the song, and therefore my dancing, stopped.

I turned on my heels and saw Sirius, standing too close to me for comfort, stretching his hand as if to invite me. I raised my eyebrows.

"Would you do me the honour, Miss Emerald, to dance with me?"

I looked over his shoulder, only to see Lissia shooting me killing gazes.

"I don't think your girlfriend would like this", I said bitterly.

"It's only a dance", he said almost pleadingly. "Are you afraid of a dance?"

"I'm fearless", I lied before taking his hand.

A slow song started then. Either he had asked for it or it the orchestra was waiting for us, I still don't know, but Sirius took my waist and started leading me around the dance-floor, gazing at me as if I was...I don't know...edible?

I looked at him more carefully as we were twisting. He was wearing dress robes, one of those that were perfectly fitting his silly body and making his eyes the only thing visible in his feature. So I stared, not answering his gaze, more searching behind them.

"What are you looking for?" he asked after one more turn.

"I don't know", I replied honestly. "Your soul, perhaps?"

He laughed once and then looked something over my shoulder.

"Look behind you."

I turned my head and what I saw made me smile widely. James and Lily were dancing in one corner, their eyes locked, his head leaning closer and closer to hers...

"It was about time", then said Sirius. "I was tired to hear him dreaming about her."

I looked at him once more questioning, but the song then ended. He leaned forwards and I thought for one second that he was going to kiss me in front of everyone. But he aimed for my ear.

"You look stunning." he said putting something in my hand.

He then walked to his girlfriend who looked angrier than ever, but he shut her up by snogging her. Remus looked at me mockingly, and I went to sit beside him again.

"Ahem", he said when he took his glass of Firewhisky and took a sip.

"Just keep your lovely mouth shut, Rem'" I said before glancing at James and Lily who had stopped and dancing and were now heading outside their hands interleaved.

I took the paper Sirius had given me and looked at it from under the table. It had been written on a napkin.

"_Meet me in the commons at 1.30. I have something for you. Sirius"_

It was barely 22.30, so I took another sip in Remus' glass and headed to eat a little. Peter had already took all the sweet for himself, but I saved a part of Christmas cake covered in dark chocolate.

"Merlin bless the house-elves", I muttered.

I almost collided into Regulus on my way back, but he didn't look unfriendly.

"Oh, sorry, Regulus", I said.

He looked up at me, then down to my toes and back into my eyes. It was like I was being scanned by his grey eyes.

"No harm done, Vala. It's Vala, isn't it?"

Ooh, trying to be civil. That was a first coming from a Black.

"Yes, you got it right. I hope I haven't took what you wanted to eat, but there isn't much to save from Peter's grip, I'm afraid."

He looked surprised at first, and then smiled a little, thought it didn't reach his eyes.

"No, thank you. Madelin prefers fruits", he said before leaving me there.

Well, that was some encounter I wasn't about to forget before ages!

o°o°o°o

When the clock ticked 1.30, I pretended I needed some fresh air and let Remus alone talking with Hestia Jones, a Ravenclaw girl who I suspected to like girls seeing who she was eyeing me.

Getting to the commons was easier than I thought, as everyone was still in the Great Hall and seeing as the young ones were all asleep in their beds. Or were they?

Sirius was waiting for me before the fire, spying the clock every two seconds. Nervous, was he not?

As I had taken my potion not long ago, I couldn't feel my pulse quickening. For once I could get close to that nonsense git without getting upset in a second.

"Sorry I'm late." was my greeting.

I wasn't late, in fact, or if I was, let's say that in all good society, one or two minutes late are considered to be the most polite thing to do.

"Oh, hem, no, no problem. I was only...well...Lissia's talking with her friends" he said nervously.

I raised my eyebrows and got closer.

He got up at once and glanced at me as he had done when we were dancing.

"Yes?" I said to break the ice. Too much tension killed the tension. "You wanted to talk to me?"

It weren't is exact words, but I couldn't tell him I was there to get my present, was I? Even more logical seeing that I wasn't there for that either. Why was I there in fact?

"Hem, yes. I...I wanted to...gi...tell you I know about your problem. More or less."

I was under the impression he wasn't going to say that at all, but I said nothing and played his game.

"What exactly do you know?" I asked before raising a hand before my face. "No, don't say a thing, we're not even sure they are all sleeping upstairs. C'mon, let's find a quieter place."

We entered an empty classroom and I muffled the door.

"Then...I ask again, what exactly do you know?"

When I turned to face him, I spotted his hand inches from my hair. I took a pace forward and sat on a bench, looking him from below.

"Not much, actually, but I recognized some symptoms."

I made a gesture to make him continue.

"Hem...you're...like what, part werewolf?" he asked pointing at me almost threateningly.

I laughed.

"It's well more complicated than that, but yes, I am half werewolf."

He let himself fall on the bench next to me.

"I thought you knew!" I said angrily.

"I was only speculating you could be." he took his head in his hands and then looked up again, still avoiding my eyes, I noticed.

"My eyes?" I almost laughed saying.

"I noticed they went black when I...when we...you know."

I nodded. No need to talk about this again.

"And then, in the forest, your teeth were sharp as Remus' are when he turned, and your nails were claws!"

He finally turned to me and I saw a thousand questions showing in his eyes.

"Do you really want to know all of it?" I sighed.

And was did I even have to tell him? It was my secret after all!

I as was thinking that, I had got up and was pacing my hands clenched in fists.

"No, not all of it. But...why aren't you...?"

"Plenty werewolf?" I said trying to hide the obvious. "Well, let's say that he who bit me wasn't transformed when he did so." I looked at my arm, were his teeth had left a scar only visible to those who were looking for it.

And then I got bored of this. It wasn't all mine to share, after all...

"Did you really ask me to come to ask me questions?" I asked turning around again.

He had got up too and was standing inches from me, his eyes burning again.

"No", he said charmingly as if it worked on me at all, "I asked you to come so I could give you your Christmas present."

I saw it coming too late.

"Merry Christmas, Vala", he said as he was leaning down to kiss me.

I blanked once more.

…**...**

**I have no idea how their story will grow up like in the next chapters, so you might wait a little until inspiration hit me again... :)**

**Anyway, review please, even if it's to tell me it sucks, everything is appreciated. :p**

**Oh, and by the way, you can add "No light, no light" to the list... ;)**


	8. The Lupins

**8. The Lupins.**

"Dad! Vala is here!" Remus shouted as soon as I stepped in their lovely house.

I heard John rushing downstairs and laughed.

Remus' father could have been mine. His eyes were the exact same shade of blue as mine, and we loved the same things in so many subjects it was sometimes scary. Whenever he would annoy me too much, I always used to call him "Uncle" and he would shut up at once. So unlike his son and yet so similar physically speaking.

"Valy!" John yelled before hugging me tightly.

"Calm down, John, it's only been four months!" I protested while Remus was giggling behind me.

"_Only_ four months? _Only_? Have you heard that Helen?" he asked letting me go.

"Yes, I have darling. Let me see you puppy" she then said looking at me.

Helen Lupin _was_ my mother. I mean, really, I had decided years before that she would be my mother as I never knew mine (or remember her, following which is the least cruel). Her hair was mousy brown with little grey lines in it, and her brown eyes, which she had passed on (partly) to her son, were looking warmly at me. I jumped in her open arms.

"I really missed being here, Helen", I said against her shoulder.

She caressed my hair while giggling.

"Why didn't we adopt her, darling?" she asked her husband.

"Oh, there we go again!" said Remus faking anger. "If you want us to swap, you tell us!"

I reached his arms in a blink.

"You're irreplaceable, dearest Rem', I'm afraid."

And, hand in hand, we all headed to the kitchen/living room.

o°o°o°o

When I left school to come back home, Dad already knew I would leave him for New Year's Eve. And for once he didn't say anything, probably because he was planning something with his _girlfriend_, who I really didn't want to meet, and still don't. I think her name was Sarah... Or Mary? Whatever stupid name she wore...

I left for the Lupins only three days after coming home, but didn't take anything with me as the spare room at Remus' almost _belonged_ to me. The wardrobe was locked with some of my clothes in it, in case one of the Marauders would be tired of Rem's snoring, and it was coloured of every shade of blue they had found. Which happened to be my favourite colour. Oh, and the window showed the beautiful and quiet garden, which helped me keeping calm. Not that I ever got upset at their house.

In fact, I thought bitterly, I was feeling much more at home there than in my dad's house.

"So, how long are you staying this time?" asked John when we were both folding napkins to make the table up for diner.

"As long as possible. I really have issues keeping up with Dad since summer" I replied.

It was so easy to speak with him. No need to hide who you were and how it was difficult to live with someone like me.

"It'll get better. You're still a family, even if you're part of ours too" he grinned.

I smiled and drew a heart on my chest. He smiled back and then became serious in the time of a blink. Something I wasn't used to.

"I suppose you would have liked a quiet holiday, but the boys are coming tomorrow" he said calmly watching into my face for anger.

He found none.

"Which of them?" I innocently asked thought I knew I wouldn't like the answer.

"James and Sirius. Peter doesn't want to "take place for no reason"." he rolled his eyes.

"Well then, I think I'll have to lock myself up in my room" I said on the matter-of-fact tone.

"Oh, then it really is true that Sirius is interested in you, isn't it?" he asked grinning again as I was keeping up the quietness.

"If only it wasn't true!" I said lifting my hands up in the air as a silent pray.

He giggled in a way so similar from his son.

"Don't you fancy him, then?" he asked reading my face really carefully.

I knew he was one of the only (alone with his son, actually) to be able to tell when I was lying, so I looked straight in his eyes.

"I don't fancy Black" I said smiling a little. "Don't play your Remus, please."

"Why? D's'he want you to end up together?"

"I'm afraid so" I said. "Here, perfect" I added as the table was perfectly set up for an important diner.

John put his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm going to work. See you later, Valy" he said before kissing my forehead.

I went to find Helen and asked her if she needed something else from me but she said no, so I headed right to Remus' room, my second favourite room of the house after _my own_.

o°o°o°o

The first impression you got when you entered the biggest room of the house was that you just entered a library. The second impression was that it was small. Every single place around the walls or even against the rare furniture was covered in books. It was a bloody mess. What it wasn't actually as each pile of books was sorted by genre and then by alphabetical order.

Remus was reading Dracula in his bed, without the help of his syllabary. I really loved his brain...

I lied next to him and put my head on his chest. His right hand automatically stroke my hair. Before I closed my eyes and fell asleep, I whispered a question that was tickling on my tongue.

"Why didn't you tell me your friends were coming tomorrow?"

He closed his book and levelled my chin so that I would look in his eyes.

"Vals, James and Sirius are coming tomorrow for the rest of this holidays. I didn't tell you before because I was afraid you might run away from Padfoot and spend an awful holiday."

I put my head down again.

"I'm not running away. I'm going to kill him, different!"

As soon as my eyes were closed, I collapsed.

o°o°o°o

"Happy New Year!" we all shouted when the clock reached twelve. Year 1977 had just started.

I laughed as John and Helen quickly locked their lips together and even much as Remus looked at them as if he was disgusted.

I fingered him to come closer and put my arms around his neck in a teasing way.

"I wish there was mistletoe" I whispered.

"I preferred to remove it unless you would have been stalked by Sirius all week."

"Happy New Year, Rem'" I then said before loudly pecking him on the cheek.

"Family hug!" then yelled John and soon I was embraced by three pairs of arms I loved as if I belonged with them. A tear came down my cheek. A tear with mixed feelings in it. I was grateful I was accepted somewhere, and yet sad I didn't belonged in the one place I should have done.

"Happy 1977, people" I answered their hug.

Helen didn't want their "guest" (as if) to help cleaning out our gentle mess (John had wanted to play a plate version of the wizard chess) and I was sent to bed without further explanation. But I knew there was one very important. The following day, I was going to be awaken by no other than the boy who kept kissing me when I least wanted him to. Not as if I ever wanted him to kiss me.

When I finally reached my blue bed after a quick wash and pleading to help, I thought that I could managed. I did manage so many times, why not one entire week? Oh dear, I was going to die...

…**...**

**He he... Vala is so strange sometimes I even don't understand her behaviour. Thought I totally understand the feeling of belonging to a place you shouldn't...**

**Oh, and thanks again to those who review, it really helps me writing better... :p**


	9. Check mate

**9. Check mate.**

When I woke up on the first of January, my eyes were blank. I couldn't see a thing. That thing often happens to me when I had a tough night. And this one was a tough one. Mainly due to the fact that the Lupins' neighbours tried to shot a rocket to celebrate.

I slowly made my way towards the staircase using my hands. My pink pyjamas would be hideous, but I didn't care, they'd seen me weirder than that.

When I stepped in the kitchen, my eyes still a little blur, I was immediately assaulted by a tall figure wearing a cloak.

"Happy 1977!" then said a voice I would recognize anywhere.

"James?" I asked unsure.

"Who do you think?" he replied mocking. "Have you turned blind?"

"Prongs, she's always this way when she didn't sleep well. Wait a couple of seconds..." said Remus who I could hardly point sitting at the table eating something.

And then it all became lighter at once. I immediately spotted James in front of me and hugged him tightly, and then the one I feared to see who was standing before the fireplace, looking in my eyes for the millionth time.

I just kept staring at him until James cleared his throat.

I freed him and just nodded to Sirius. I came to kiss Remus on the cheek and grabbed a toast I started to eat standing by the window. Better warn them, I wasn't friendly in the morning. At all when the night had been horrible.

o°o°o°o

"So, Vals, having a nice holiday, are you?" casually asked James putting an arm around my shoulders.

I glanced at him suspiciously.

"No, not nice, really. I was just starting feeling at home when you two arrived", I joked.

I took an apple on the table and teasingly walked upstairs winking Remus. He smiled back and giggled a little. I heard John entering the room.

"Ah, Sirius! Have you seen Vala yet? I would rather like seeing her killing you, must be an interesting fight to witness."

I rolled my eyes to the wall and entered by bedroom to get dressed.

I soon decided to stay there as to avoid seeing the git, and made up to do my homework in order to do something useful.

After I'd done everything I could do, I've had a furious envy to read something so I walked recklessly into Remus' room. And of course, there they were, all three of them, talking as I understood it. I walked straight to the fantasy pile, my favourite, and pretended to read the summaries.

"Why aren't joining us, Vals?" asked James and I ignored him. "You could have fun."

"I'm having fun, James, thanks for asking. I've just retrieved my two best friends: Paolini and Bottero." I said pointing at the pile of nine books I had in my arms. "They salute you all." I added before going out.

I remember that I shuddered when I met Black's eyes. All that time he hadn't stopped staring at me in a mad way, and I really felt uncomfortable about it.

o°o°o°o

Eragon and Ewilan's sagas were one of my favourite stories of all times, and of course I discovered them at Remus'. As I was drowned into Brisingr, a soft knock made itself heard on my door. I sighed, dreading the worst.

"Come in", I said bitterly.

It was Helen, wearing her work-robes.

"My darling, I'm going to work. You're alone with the boys until five, I'm afraid. Here, I've carried you lunch, I would think you would be interested in remaining alone for today."

I smiled and mouthed "Thank you" before she closed the door.

On my desk, there was a dish of steak with a spinach purée. My favourite ever. I thanked the sky to have created Helen Lupin.

I read all the books in less hours that I would have wished to and I soon after fell asleep. It wasn't four yet when I woke up a presence at my side.

I knew it would be him but pretended otherwise.

"Rem', I told you before I didn't like you to sneak in my bed unwanted!" I said faking sleep.

I sensed him frown behind me and I giggled.

When I looked at him, he was looking awfully upset.

"What the hell are you doing here, Black?" I asked as if I just realised it was him.

"Just wanted to...see...how you were." he said stroking his hands.

"You really need to play this on me. It doesn't work." I said seriously.

He looked different at once. His eyes met mine in an eager way.

"Really? Well, I may try something different then" he smiled.

I rolled my eyes and leaned to get up. He stopped me putting his face in front of mine.

"How did you survive Christmas?" he asked innocently.

I eyed him angrily. I had tried to avoid him the previous days to prevent myself from having a really unpleasant conversation.

I swallowed. He smiled.

"Oh, not wanting to talk about it, hey? Did you really like it so much?"

He leaned forward as to kiss me once again, but I got up.

"I'm not really fond of this kind of presents", I said, and it was true.

"You kissed me back, Vala." he said getting up and facing me with all his height.

"Really? Don't remember it..." I lied staring at him.

"Have you found my soul then?" he asked changing subject.

I quietly opened the door and before I closed it behind me, I looked back at him.

"No, not yet. And I doubt I will."

o°o°o°o

He caught me when I reached the woods behind the house. His hand clenched mine and I was forced to slow down.

When I looked at him, I saw that he kept his eyes closed, as if he was listening to something. I understood that this something was my heart, which was racing since I left my bedroom.

My nails were already sharp, but my eyes were only starting to grow, and my temper wasn't as strong as it had been in the forest, not so long before.

"Is it me?" he asked opening his eyes.

I knew what he meant by that.

"Apparently, yes." I replied freeing my hand.

"And Christmas?"

I sighed and turned to the welcoming woods. I could then see as in daylight.

"I was under a Calming potion." I whispered.

"Are you losing it now?" he seemed concerned.

"I don't know. It seems to slow down."

He walked forwards and took my cheek.

"Are you going to kiss me again? 'Cause I don't think it'll help this time." I sighed looking in his silly face.

"Have you realised you're speaking to me, not yelling?" he said smiling a little. "Besides, your eyes are starting to grow back."

And I knew it was true, because the sky was getting darker for my eyes, as my nails were retrieving their usual size.

He pulled me towards the house, his hand still holding mine.

When we reached the door, I freed myself again.

"It didn't mean anything, Black" I said.

"No, of course it didn't" he grinned.

"You're a lost cause" I said before entering before him.

o°o°o°o

Diner, as I remembered, had been really calm. John was constantly joking with James, Helen and I were talking about my studies and Remus and Sirius were talking about whatever was a good topic for them.

Soon after I washed the dishes with her, Helen kisses my forehead and rested her hands on my shoulders.

"Vala, I know it isn't the right time for this, but you received a letter this morning. I didn't give it to you because I'm under the impression you'll have to calm down in the woods tonight."

Before she handed me the envelope, she gave me a thick blanket and smiled sadly to me.

I took the white sheet and got out of the house, concerned about what it was talking about.

It was a wedding announcement. A wedding announcement with my Dad's name on it. I sat down in the grass, my nails growing silently as my eyes wandered on the paper.

"_Joshua Emerald and Moira Spencer are really proud to announce their marriage which will take place on the fourth of February 1977._" I mouthed before tearing the letter apart and starting running to the woods.

My temper took it all in a fraction of seconds. How could he do this to me? Tell me he was getting married using a letter? Was he my father or a foreign acquaintance?

I ripped a tree apart using my nails and claws, and before no time I was joined by a dog and a stag. They both took my arms in their mouths and forced me to sit down. The only wish I had was to make them pay for what my father did to me, a monstrous betrayal as I never heard of before.

My claws closed on Sirius paw and I hit James with my head, but they didn't let go and waited for the tears to come streaming in place of rage and despair.

I let myself fall on the ground and covered my head with my hands.

James was the first to turn back.

"Vala." was the only word he pronounced before putting his arms around me. I cried against him for a long moment, before my temper was completely down and I could see Sirius looking apologetically to me.

"Come on, let's get some hot chocolate before getting to sleep." then said James, and they both helped me up.

Sirius kept my hand in his during all the way home, and James was noticing he was grabbing my waist as if I was Lily. Or so I thought.

When we got into the living-room, Remus jumped into my arms and squeezed me hard against his chest. I started crying again and Helen patted my back while John was looking sadly into my face.

Once I was done, they both kissed me gently and parted for their bedroom. James came back from the kitchen holding a huge pot of hot chocolate, Sirius was reviving the fire, and Remus was still holding me tight while we sat in the couch.

I looked into their faces and waited until my breathing paced quietly to speak.

"Thank you, guys. I think I could have lost it all if you didn't came around." I said before taking a boiling sip in my mug.

They all put a hand on me, James on my leg as he sat on the floor, Remus around my waist, and Sirius on my resting hand as he sat next to us in the couch.

That was the first time ever I felt as if I had more than one friend...

…**...**

**I suck, I really do. I just thought of all this father betrayal thing, and it lingered on my mind for a long time, but this chapter isn't my best. At all...**

**Review anyway, it makes me smile... :)**


	10. We had a dream

**10. We had a dream.**

The following day, I didn't wake up. Easiest part seeing as I didn't sleep at all. I kept on thinking about my dad's wedding and all those feelings I was losing for him since my first year. "Since I became who I am" I kept whispering.

I had taken a decision back that night, a harsh one but as I was of age, I could deal with the consequences. After all, he had decided this on his own.

I got dressed as casually as I could, put make-up on only to fake a good-night sleep and joined my friends who were eating their breakfast as if it would be their last.

I grabbed a toast before James would put his hand on it and sat on Remus' lap. I looked gravely in his green eyes and saw he too hadn't slept well that night.

He looked back at me and, as usual, it was just as if we could talk without speaking. After a while, he nodded.

"Guys, what would you think about a quick trip in London?" he said as if it was a natural question.

Helen got out of the kitchen at once.

"Could you just ask permission before?" she said as if she was pissed.

I looked intensively at her and she blushed.

"Oh. Yes, well, of course. Just don't stay out late", she said before disappearing again.

"Did I miss something?" asked James who kept looking between the kitchen's door, Remus and me.

"No, you haven't, Prongs. Now finish your breakfast before we go."

I got up his lap and walked towards the window. Was it really a right decision? Was I not tearing apart the little bond I still had linking me to my home?

A hand grabbed my shoulder, and I didn't shudder. I knew he would do this. And as much as I didn't want him to, it was kind of comforting.

"I can understand part of what you're going to do. We'll stay close so that you can call on us any time." he whispered before letting go.

"Thank you" I whispered back before drowning in his blazing eyes.

o°o°o°o

The boys flooed to Diagon Alley, promising that if I wasn't back by eleven, they would rejoin me. I flooed to my father's house, shaking as I landed in the living-room's fireplace.

The room was empty apart from our house-elf, Minny, who bowed to me before bolting in front of me.

"Miss Vala, miss, are you alright, Miss? Aren't Miss supposed to stay at her friend's, Miss? Is everything okay?"

I calmed her down by a gesture. She looked at guard but I knelt before her.

"No, I'm not alright, Minny, but that's not your doing. Now, can you please tell me where Mister is?"

She looked awkward and I understood why.

"Speak, Minny, don't be afraid."

She clenched my dress.

"Mister Joshua is in the library, Miss. He is planning the wedding with Miss Moira, Miss."

I slowly got up. So _she_ was there. Of course she would! If they were getting married, she would live here. Since a while, apparently. How could I have been so oblivious?

So many feelings must have had appeared on my face as Minny looked afraid at once. She must have thought I would have lost my temper. I breathed calmly, wishing Remus would have been with me, and then headed towards the staircase.

As I was making my way to the library, I sensed that I wasn't home at all in there. It was barely a place I lived in, as my grand-ma's house when I was a little girl. The feeling hurt, but it was nothing compared to what I was decided to do.

I opened the door, and there they were. My father was sitting in his armchair, writing what I could imagine were other announcements, and Moira was sitting on the ground, at his feet, looking at a wedding dresses' magazine, looking as if she was thirteen years old.

Her gaze met mine and she freaked out immediately, squeezing my father's leg as if a fire had started. Which it had in my heart.

Dad looked up and met my eyes. He got up quickly and walked to me, trying to make me leave the room. But my body wanted to stay there, to look at that woman, the one I was so stupid to think she would just pass.

"Vala", said Daddy. "Honey, come over here, we'll be better to talk." his voice was almost begging.

My nails long and sharp, I made him let me go with surprising strength and came to sit in my favourite chair, near by the window. I turned it to face them and started to try recovering a normal breathing. When my words reached my mouth, I wasn't planning to scream.

"How on Earth could you do this to me, Joshua? How could you hide this to your daughter? How do you want me to trust you again. How-" and I stopped, feeling that if I continued, I would lose it. "Minny!" I yelled.

"Yes, Miss Vala?" asked the tiny elf shyly appearing at the edge of the door.

"Go and fetch Mister Remus. _Quick_!" I yelled as my eyes went dark.

Dad went for _her_ and grabbed her hand as Minny disapparated with a loud "_crack"_.

"Vala, I didn't..._we_ didn't tell you because of your...little problem..." he said looking as if he was grounding me.

I got up and clenched my hands into fists, my teeth slowly becoming claws.

"My _little problem_? You thought I would hurt you? Her? Are you really that confident in your only child to push her away for a harsh temper?"

He then looked really angry.

"It's not a harsh temper you've got, Vala, you're _half a werewolf_! How do you want me to cope with this?"

I sighed as if it was the funniest joke I've ever heard. Which it wasn't.

"You never coped with it, Joshua. From the first day back in the hospital, you've looked at me as if I wasn't your daughter anymore, and we lived through letters, not through real life, because when you look at me you're disgusted by who I am! Do you finally realise that the love I didn't get from you, my own father, I got it from total strangers who welcome me to their house like one of their blood? Do you realise you never even mentioned the fact that you lived with someone? Do you realise that I'm only losing it right now because you put me aside? This is all your fault!"

I fell on the ground, shaking as I was fighting the urge to kill them. Moira was looking scared to death, and my father (was he really) seemed to be fighting another kind of feeling.

Remus, Sirius and James bolted into the room at that moment. The first ran to me and took me in his arms, ready to protect my family from me. James helped him getting me up and walking me back to the fireplace downstairs, while I could see Sirius fighting himself, as if he wanted to punch my father.

As I passed him, Joshua put a hand on my shoulder. I pushed it back and killed him in one glance.

"I'm of age, now." I said, still shaking. "From now on, consider yourself free. You are not my father anymore. Moira, it was a pleasure to meet you."

He didn't even walked behind me or tried to stop me. He just stayed there, looking as if a train just ran through him, and let me go.

When I landed back in the Lupins' house, I collapsed in Remus' arms.

o°o°o°o

When I woke up, I remember that at first I felt a horrible pain where my heart had been torn apart. There was a huge hole where my family bond should have been, and I felt empty. Horribly empty.

Remus was sleeping at my side in the bed, and Sirius was snoring against the wardrobe. Only James seemed to be missing.

As I moved to sit down, Remus woke up as quickly as possible and yelled when he saw me staring at him. He caught me in his arms and started stroking my hair and kissing my head everywhere he could reach it. I stopped him softly.

"Remus, I'm not dead. Calm down" I whispered, surprised to hear my voice so down.

"Vala, dear, you've been unconscious for more than two days." he softly said before patting my cheek.

"Two days?" I asked before hearing my stomach growl. "Yes, I think I'm hungry."

"You want to eat in here?"

I nodded.

"'comin' back in no time!" he said before kissing my forehead and storming out of the room.

I then spotted Sirius staring at me, as if he was searching something through my eyes.

He got up and went to sit next to me, and carefully he took my hand.

"I know how it feels", he said, and I knew it was true. I knew the story. "What you did was very brave, hard and heartbreaking but brave."

I started sobbing and he took me in his arms. It was the first time that we were alone in the same room and I wasn't afraid of him raping me. It felt fine.

All that day, because I had waken up very early, Helen and Remus had been caring and looking after everything I would need, while John and Sirius were trying harder than ever to make me smile. The only one they got was when Sirius fell off the stairs and landed opening the door and storming in the garden.

James appeared late and I only understood why when he handed me a letter which bore Hogwarts seal.

James, as Head-Boy, had gone to the school to explain the situation to our headmaster. I thanked him with a glance.

"_Dear Miss Emerald,_

_ Mister James Potter has been as kind as to inform me of your family situation. I'm aware that it must be very hard for you and be assured that I'm sending you sympathetic regards._

_ However, I had to inform your Head of House. Pr McGonagall sends you her regards as well and tells you more truthfully that a fall in marks will be tolerated until you feel better._

_ I would as well advise you to write to the Ministry of Magic soon enough to inform them that your new whereabouts are at Mr and Mrs Lupin who have, as I understood it, accepted to "adopt" you as long as you need a parental presence._

_ I would be very glad if you honoured me of your presence on Sunday afternoon, I believe it to be the day you plan to come back to school._

_ Yours truly,_

_ A.W.P.B. Dumbledore._"

I fell into Helen's arms as soon as I finished the letter, thanking her with all the strength I had left. She cried over my shoulder but made me understand that I was the closest to their child as I could be. I hugged John as well, and then turned to Remus to greet him with a single "Now we're siblings" before getting to bed.

It was Wednesday already, and I had no idea in which emotional state I would be when I would get back to school. All I knew was that I wanted nothing more than to be obliviated...

…**...**

**I know, it's a horrible chapter. But I don't know why, I saw it coming from the beginning. And now my plot will not be disturbed when something happens to Vala and Remus' friendship... But shush, spoilers!**

**Review, for Merlin's sake!**


	11. Alissandra Carter

**11. Alissandra Carter.**

When I got in the Hogwarts' Express on that Saturday night, I was so exhausted by the rest of my week that I soon fell asleep against Remus' shoulder.

On Thursday, boys had decided to teach me how to play Quidditch, and it appeared that thanks to my powers I was rather a good Keeper. Remus and I even won a part, before Sirius decided to "take my fate in his own hands". Meaning distracting me to prevent me from stopping the ball thrown by James.

On Friday, Helen and I had gone shopping, because all my belongings hadn't been sent from "home" yet. We bought new clothes to fill the cupboard and she offered me a photo album so I could keep all my new memories in my heart. In the evening, I even smiled a little when James made his pudding explode.

On Saturday, apart from packing and preparing to depart for London, I had tidied my new acquired bedroom and it really felt like home, until Sirius came in changed into his dog form and decided to wash himself on my bed, which I had to clean up before cursing him petrified.

The letter Pr Dumbledore had sent me was safe in my backpack, in which I had put my album, few treats for the journey and of course my dearest wand, though I didn't really need it to protect myself.

When I woke up, it was still dark outside and all three of the boys were sleeping. Peter had joined in whenever he did and I hadn't heard him. Which wasn't that bad as he really was creeping me out. Lily had obviously came by as her perfume still lingered in the air.

I silently got up and opened the box' door as to go to the toilets. When I passed the first wagon, I ran into a tall figure with deep grey eyes looking stunned but not angry.

"Oh, Regulus!" I said surprised.

He looked even more stunned as I didn't curse him dead. But I hadn't had any reasons to curse him...

"Hello, Vala." he replied. "I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was walking."

I suddenly understood where he was heading.

"Are you going into Gryffindor's wagon?" I asked smirking.

He blushed a little.

"No, I wasn't. I was just...wandering about."

I looked at him not oblivious at all.

"You know, you can tell me you wanted to see him, even asleep. It mustn't be easy for you to lose your brother all in a sudden."

He looked at me and brushed his hair just like Sirius used to.

"Yeah, well... I didn't want him to go. You know, now I'm just...the hope of the family. Kind of thing."

"Yes, I do know how it is. Anyway, Regulus, it was a real pleasure to talk with you, you're a very sensible Slytherin and I didn't know it could exist. But if I'm not going right now, I might pee on you."

He smirked a little and let me pass him.

"Hope I see you soon, Vala."

I waved goodbye and rushed to the loos.

o°o°o°o

When I got back in our compartment, they were all awake, with James' eyes eagerly looking towards the door.

"Nope, James, I'm not her."

Lily hadn't come by yet, and he was getting nervous by the second. She had sent me a comforting letter during that week, probably warned by James, and I now knew she was struggling with her new feelings towards him.

"I don't think she will come over, Prongs" I said, using his nickname for the first time.

"Why not?" he asked looking barely concerned.

"She wants to make sure you missed her." I said smirking though I didn't want to.

Sirius looked at me as a curious beast.

"Wow, a smirk! What's his name?" he asked, and I sensed a little jealousy in his voice.

"Actually, it was Regulus, and he sends you his regards."

He jumped out of his seat, fist before his face.

"You befriend the enemy?" he threatened.

I smiled and got up too. Facing his grey eyes tempering within, I took a deep breath.

"I was going to the toil, Sirius, and I walked in your brother, minding his own business. Now, if you may, I can choose whether or not I'm going to talk with people who never harmed me."

His eyes duelled mine for a minute and then they surrendered.

I sat down and rested my head on Remus' lap. I sensed him chuckle and it made me grin.

The first real grin I've given since Wednesday.

o°o°o°o

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Remus asked when we got out of the train.

I was already starting to head for the castle where Pr Dumbledore was most probably waiting for me.

I turned and waved him back.

"No, thanks, Rem', I think I won't get lost."

"But you can get into trouble" he added sneering.

"You're right, Moony, that's why I'm going to accompany her without her consent."

And before I could protest, he silenced me with magic and pulled me with him towards the high walls.

When we got into a deserted corridor, he slapped me against a wall and started pushing his head to mine. When our lips were only inches close, I made him stop.

"What do you think you are doing?" I whispered between my teeth.

"What do you think?" he grinned before trying to kiss me again.

"And have I given you permission?" I asked gently pushing him back and getting my own balance back.

He sighed.

"Miss Emerald, might I kiss you, please?"

I grinned and he grinned back. "Gotcha" I thought.

"No, you can't."

And I continued to the eagle gargoyle.

"Fizwizbiz" I announced.

"Good afternoon, Miss" the gargoyle replied before letting me pass.

I knocked on the door and heard a little chuckle behind it. I took it I could enter.

Pr Dumbledore wasn't alone. At all. Lissia was sitting in front of him, killing me with her piercing black eyes.

I silently walked to the second armchair and stretched my hand.

"Lissia, good day to you" I said.

She looked at me as if I had plague, but shook hands nevertheless. I turned to our headmaster.

"Sir." I nodded.

"Vala, thanks to join us. I hope the trip hasn't been difficult?"

"No, it hasn't. It was a real holiday." I added, seeing him looking suddenly sad.

"Anyway, Misses. I asked you to come over because we do have some issues getting the corridors proper. When I mean proper, I mean that even the best prefects can't take some fellow students to rejoin their dormitories late at night."

I grinned. I knew who he would talk about.

"Those prefects therefore asked for reinforcements, and I do believe you are the two most sensible girls in Gryffindor when it comes to those you call the Marauders"

I looked at Lissia, perplexed. I was surely enough objective when it came to night pranks, but Lissia? Sirius' girlfriend?

"I would then ask both of you to accept the post of "Nightwatcher" until those four boys come back to their senses. Can I count on you?"

I nodded. No matter who it would be with, I'd do it. For my sake.

"I don't want to be paired with her" then said Lissia.

Pr Dumbledore pierced her with his blue eyes, as a grandfather would look his granddaughter when after a bad doing.

"Miss Carter, I think you'll find that any animosity you might have for Miss Emerald is unjustified. And, by the way, it is unnecessary for you to pair up for the task. All you have to do is to meet every two nights or so and decide where you're going to patrol."

I looked at her and waited for her gaze to meet mine.

"Alissandra" I said, using her full name as an attempt to talk as to an adult being, "I do not fancy your boyfriend" and I kept glaring at her until she finally saw that I wasn't lying.

"I'll do it" she eventually sighed.

"I expected you to." Pr Dumbledore said before heading us to the door. "I'll call on you next week to see how you're doing."

o°o°o°o

When we got down the stairs, Sirius was waiting. For me obviously, as he didn't know Lissia was with me.

He looked surprised for a tiny second, but only I could tell. Lissia looked at him grinning and in response he took her hand and jumped on her snogging. I rolled my eyes as I walked away.

"Where are you going?" then yelled Lissia, soon catching up with me, Sirius behind her gluing her waist.

"Commons" I said, obvious as it was.

"So" she added, "now that we are to work together, did you really mean what you said up there?"

She stopped and looked at me with X-raying eyes.

I put my hands before me in surrender.

"I did. And I also mean this: be careful, Alissandra, be very careful, 'cause sometimes the bird falls down the nest and breaks its neck"

She nodded but I wasn't sure she got it right. We silently walked, all three of us, the our common room, even winning a very surprised glance by the Fat Lady.

…**...**

**Hello! I've got several questions for you and I'd really like you to answer these as a review..**

**Shall I make Regulus Vala's friend? Would it bother you if I did as Reg' wanted to prove his brother he wasn't bad and him trying to get Siri with Vals?**

**Do I need to add a female character to the story so that Remus would get busy and have less time to protect his...friend?**

**When do you want to know the whole story about Vala's half-lycanthropy?**

**Who would like a Snape cameo?**

**Is Lissia a real bitch or will she come with her senses and see Sirius is using her?**

**Thanks a lot if you dare answering, I really need inspiration!**

**Ana**


	12. Spring is sometimes nearer than thought

**12. Spring is sometimes nearer than you'd think.**

It was already February when something special finally happened. It was the 12th, I believe, and Lissia had decided to patrol over the library, as she heard Sirius talking about a book prank. But I knew it was just a diversion.

She had become more friendly over the weeks, Lissia. Probably because I was stubbornly avoiding her boyfriend...

I headed towards the park, as full moon was rising in the sky. They were there, I knew it. And for once, I decided to join in. Reckless, I know, but I had reasons to believe I wouldn't get hurt... And something told me to go. As a need. A bloody need I couldn't stand too much.

I lifted a branch with my wand and entered the tunnel leading to the Shrieking Shack. It wasn't the first time I was going in, but the first ever I'd go on a transformation night.

As I got into the tiny room that laid on the ground floor, a huge animal shocked me with its antlers.

"James!" I yelled. "It's me you idiot!"

The stag's eyes weren't oblivious. He was then protecting me from Remus, or thought he was. Bad idea.

"James, I assure you I'm safe. Please" I surrendered my hands held before my face.

He nodded but walked in front of me when he joined Sirius, Peter and Remus who were in the second room. Peter was already in his rat form, not bad , and Padfoot was eyeing me with angry eyes. But Remus was only starting to transform.

He looked at me with suffering amber eyes, both for himself and for me, because he didn't know yet I had the means to protect myself from his inner wolf.

His turning was painful to look at, and I knew I had to use the little time I had to make my own transformation. I turned towards the two boys.

"James, Sirius, I need you to make me angry. Now!" I said really seriously.

Sirius turned at James as if I was insane, and then James nodded to him. Padfoot jumped on me and started to lick my face. I hated the feeling, even more when you knew who was lying on my body and putting his tongue on my cheeks. My nails started to grow, but still not quick enough for me to be ready when Remus would be turned.

I turned to James, my eyes slowly turning black.

"Again." I breathed.

James came towards me and caressed my torso with his antlers, a feeling that was really unpleasant. My anger wasn't as strong as I would have hoped, but at least I was half a wolf, Remus wouldn't hurt me.

Then he stopped shrugging and turned his wolf face towards me, his yellow claws showing between his lips, a low growl coming from underneath. I answered the growl, winning myself a surprised glance from the boys who were ready to interfere.

Remus ran to me and I caught him in my open arms, pulling him to the floor with all my strength, pushing him hard as I could, and staring at him as an angry animal. The growl that came from me was that of a real wolf, and I bit his ear.

o°o°o°o

An hour later, James had finally decided to turn back, as Remus was shyly lying on the ground, looking at me warily.

"Are you finally going to tell us what the hell happened?" he asked his eyes wide.

They were perfectly reflecting the look on Padfoot's face. I shrugged.

"I just...am half a werewolf." I said, looking away to hide the little blush.

"It doesn't explain everything" James replied as Sirius nodded.

Remus let out a cry, and I replied his pain by caressing his head as if he was a puppy. He seemed at peace once more.

I sighed before resuming. "Remus is the one who bit me." I whispered.

Whispering was of no use, I knew it, but it still looked reassuring.

"We knew that already" said James grinning a little.

I looked at him very surprised.

"How did you...?"

"It wasn't hard to guess, Vala. There was a time during first year when you've been missing and Remus was going to the hospital wing everyday." he interrupted.

"But I still don't understand how you did that!" he added and I shrugged once more.

"There are so many things I don't understand about this. First, we are bonded in a similar way as a vampire with its creation. Which explains how we do understand each other so easily and...tend to appreciate touching each other as well" I said blushing at Sirius who seemed to wink at me.

"Second, I'm kind of schizophrenic, I have my human side and my wolf side. I'm usually showing my wolf side to most of you, actually, when I used to be more human the previous years..."

They both nodded, Sirius still hearing really intensively to whichever interesting information I was giving him.

"And last, I am half a wolf. Meaning that I can act as one when I need it. But..." I added when I saw a certain glimpse in James' eyes, "...I can't do it every time. I have to focus on the anger I need to transform, and that's something really difficult when you have no reasons to be."

With those words, Remus started shuddering again. I started stroking him again and the conversation wore off, even if I spotted some glances between Padfoot and Prongs.

o°o°o°o

The end of the night came as quickly as my fake temper had gone out few hours before. Remus was still at my feet, as I now was for this time his Alpha. I was still stroking his hair when he started shuddering again to turn back into his human form.

Sirius put his hand on my shoulder.

"Vala, we have to go or Madam Pomfrey will see us and we'll get in trouble." he whispered in my ear with a softness I didn't know he had in him.

I turned to him and nodded, looked at my suffering best friend, and hid with James and Sirius under the cloak. Peter had climbed in James' pocket. Sirius put his arm around my waist as we were getting out and, even if it wasn't an unpleasant feeling, I felt as if I had to worry about something. My two halves were once again battling each other...

o°o°o°o

"You'll be alright?" asked James when we finally reached the common room.

I nodded but started to fell as I was about to faint. Sirius caught me as I fell backwards and threatened to crash in the stairs.

"Easy, Vala, easy." he said as he softly put me in a couch. "I think you need to sleep for today."

I said nothing, didn't move and just kept staring at him. Something had changed in his eyes, like hope had been replaced by...some unknown feeling. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"I'll tell dearest Minnie why you didn't go to classes."

And with those words, James and Sirius left for their dorm while I just stayed there, without any kind of energy left in my body, waiting for my eyes to close down and for my breathing to take an easier pace...

…**...**

**I know, shorter one, but wait until the next one, it will be kick-ass!**

**Oh, by the way, thanks so much for reviewing my story, after all it's not like I asked you simple questions about next chapters' plot... :/**


	13. Burning and sinking

**13. Burning and sinking.**

Later that day, I woke up with a friendly hand on my cheek. Lily.

I opened an eye, then two. Lily was looking so worried I sat up quickly and questioned her silently. She sighed.

"Vals, Pr McGonagall wants to see you. Now." she said looking right in my eyes for a reaction. "Don't run." she added.

I took her hand and pulled her with me.

"Lils, have I done something wrong?" I asked like a little girl who had been really bad.

"I don't know. But it can't be good."

I sighed and when we stopped before our House-head's door, I kissed her on the cheek.

"Don't wait for me." I said before knocking.

A bitter "come in!" answered my hand.

Minerva McGonagall was the scariest teacher I'd ever had. Next to her, Pr Slughorn was Santa Claus. As I sat before her, I then noticed her eyes were looking at me in an odd way. As if she was...pitying me?

"Miss Emerald, I have to talk to you about a grave matter."

I caught her piercing yet sad-looking eyes and started to stress a little.

"Is that about my...father?" I asked as the word ached in my throat.

"No, Vala, this isn't about it. It's about something less important yet surprisingly so".

Great, she was trying to get suspense. I just kept staring at her with begging eyes.

"Miss Emerald, I have the difficult task to inform you that Mister Darren Dubois has decided to resume his studies in Hogwarts"

The world sank around that news. I nearly collapsed of chock in my chair, and started looking around in need for air. Darren. Darren Dubois. The French bastard. I wasn't going through this. I was almost pleading Lily to only wake me up now as if it was all a dream.

"Vala, are you...alright?"

I just wanted to shout "What do you think?" at her, but it wouldn't be fair.

"No, I'm not. Do you...do you know...when he's due to...join in?"

"Apparently he's resuming next week."

Four days. Marvellous.

"Vala, I really am sorry that we put you in such situation, but you have to understand that we just can't refuse a student on such purposes..." she said, clearly wishing I wouldn't try to kill her.

"I know, Professor, I know. Do you...think Madam Pomfrey could give me some Calming Potion from time to time?"

"She told me that your...system could get accustomed to it and that it wear out after sometime. But if it helps you in this matter, I suppose I could give her a word."

She got up and I did too, my balance struggling as my mind wasn't quite right.

"I'm sorry again, Miss Emerald, but I believe your friends will be good advisers on this one."

I nodded and shook her hand before getting out of her office, properly stunned.

o°o°o°o

Lissia and Sirius were hanging out hands intertwined when they caught sight of me. They hurried up to my side as they saw I was going to fall to pieces. Sirius put a helping arm around my waist to help me up and Lissia put her hand on my forehead.

"Hey, Vala, what is it?" she asked looking sincerely concerned.

I was getting more and more surprised as the day went on.

"Nothing...I'm fine" I said as I collapsed in Sirius' arm once more.

"Yeah, we can see that, don't we Lis'?" he said trying to make me smile.

It didn't work at all.

"I need to see...Lily."

I needed to see Remus too, but he could wait. Girls matters first.

"Right, come on Sleeping Beauty." he said and Lissia drove us towards the Tower.

"Well well, I didn't know students were allowed to drink during school hours!" were our greeting when we reached the Fat Lady.

I just groaned, but Lissia got really upset.

"She's not drunk, you idiot, she's going to faint! _Levisylvia_!" she yelled her hands on her hips, and after mumbling some swears, the portrait swung open.

Sirius put me down on a couch but I begged him to bring me upstairs. Lissia opened the door, whistled when she saw the mess that was our dorm and got out. He put me in my bed (how the hell did he know it was that one?) and put his hand on my cheek before getting out.

He bumped into a storming Lily in the stairs.

She bolted at my side, handed me a piece of chocolate that warmed me up and stared in my eyes.

"So? Wanna talk about it?" she asked while taking a fakir-like position at my feet.

o°o°o°o

"D'you get it Lils? I'm afraid I might hurt people now that he's going to be around..." I said still weak but lighter by talking about it.

"I think you're going to need your friends even more, that's all... Anyway, the fact that all of us know about your...temper...will help even more to blackmail him away from you."

She was acting as a bitch sometimes.

"Bugger Lils'! I don't want him around, I was just starting to have a normal life!"

She winked a little, an evil smirk plastered on her lips.

"Wha'?" I asked.

"Normal life doesn't come without a boyfriend, Miss Freezer!" she laughed.

I widened my eyes.

"When the hell are you going to accept you have a crush on Sirius?" she said, laughing again at the sight of my disgusted face. "Denial is all natural in this situation...he carried you up here, didn't he?"

"Why would it matter?" I said getting annoyed.

"It matters that he carried you bride style and that you even didn't notice!" she grinned.

"I was half fainted you idiot!" I said hitting her with my pillow.

"At least I managed to divert you..." she said kissing my cheek and pulling me out of my bed. "Come on, let's get some food, you look on the edge of skinny."

I threw her my pillow once more and followed her sheepishly to the Great Hall.

o°o°o°o

Remus welcomed me with a crushing-bone hug and whispered in my ear that he wouldn't let me fall. I kissed his cheek in return. Peter gracefully offered me a piece of cake he "had saved from James" (as if), and James, after greeting Lily with a cute peck, put his comforting hand on mine saying that he would turn to get attention whenever things would get too hot to handle.

Lissia, as usual now, was sitting with us, or was eating Sirius' face off in front of us would be a better description. I'd gotten used to it, and even grew a little fond of the girl since she wasn't that bad when she was talking about something else than her marvellous Siri. Who was kicking my leg under the table as if in call for help.

I looked at Lily, smirked a little and then threw a glass of water on Sirius' face. And Lissia's as she was glued to his.

"What the-!" she yelled turning at us to see the source of the glass. "Vala!" she started when she saw the empty space before my plate.

"Ali?" I asked innocently, using the only nickname I thought suited her.

Lily started laughing hard, soon followed by her boyfriend, then Peter who was doing whatever James did, then Remus and I, and then Sirius himself. She got him a killing glance and got up the bench. He followed her outside the Hall.

"C'mon, babe, t'was just a joke!" he yelled at her after mouthing "Thank you" towards me.

Lily elbowed me.

"Praise this day, Vals, he thanked you!" and James started laughing again, and so hard he even chocked on the return trip to the Tower.

Remus was grabbing my waist, I was resting my hand on his back, and I suppose we would have looked like a couple to anyone who crossed our path. I then wondered...would Darren think I was with Remus? Would it make him leave once more?

I looked at my twin-in-soul and smiled to him.

"Rem'? You're going to help me. And you're not gonna like it!" I said using a mysterious voice before breaking Lily and James' embrace by placing myself between them. They just wrapped an arm between me as if I wasn't there and resumed talking about their Easter holidays together.

…**...**

**Sorry, I just had to add this to the plot! I realised that I didn't talk about Darren in the first chapter and that I would get too soon to June if he wasn't coming back, so here he is! And don't wait for a romantic character, readers, I can assure you that Darren Dubois is worse than Darth Maul when he wants to be...**

**Review please, I really need to improve and no one ever answers my questions! *annoyed face***


	14. Biting or letting go

**14. Biting or letting go.**

That Monday, I was stressfully sitting with Remus in the Great Hall, his hand casually wrapped around my waist, as a cheering came from Ravenclaw's table. I turned to see what it was about when my eyes met those of Darren. Blue against dark brown. His gaze was questioning, almost apologetic, while mine, I could tell, was killing.

I resumed eating whilst Remus read the Daily Prophet, though his grip had become firmer and his whole frame was tenser.

"I wonder who's gonna win the World Cup this year" My voice was casual, but I could hear a stranger's heartbeat behind me, so I leaned in and put a kiss on Remus' cheek. He got used of it, it had become my personal vengeance.

Darren cleared his throat.

"Vala?" His voice was low and he was trying to sound calm, but I could guess he was wondering if I was going to transform. What he didn't know was that I had drunk my Calming Potion as soon as I got up.

I shifted my body on the bench and turned to him, eyebrows lifted. "Darren?" I sounded annoyed as if he had interrupted a romantic breakfast.

"I...I wondered if...we...could talk sometimes..." I gestured.

"What about?" And then I decided to be bitchy. "How's Jocelyn by the way?" His eyes darkened. Touched.

"Rem'? Come on, love, I don't want to be late to our duel lesson again." I pulled my friend off the bench and gripped his hand, my head resting on his shoulder. I could hear Darren asking to a fellow Gryffindor "When did they get together?" and I chuckled.

o°o°o°o

"You shouldn't play like this" Remus' voice was that of an older brother, but I didn't drop his hand.

"Why? He deserves it."

"Imagine my-_our_ parents hear about it?" I loved it when he said that. _Our parents_. It made me feel part of a family. A real family, where both my parents would ask about my day, do things with me and act as if I wasn't partly a beast. I leaned more in his shoulder.

"They won't. And besides, I'm certain John would laugh."

He surrendered. I knew h-our father well. "Yeah, he would."

As we entered our classroom, James and Lily greeted us with a quizzical glance and I answered by a thumbs up. We got to them and took our wands in our sleeves.

Pr Freeman arrived late, Darren on his heels. I snorted. Sirius, on my left, stared at me questioningly. The potion was wearing off already. Sooner than last time I took it. Bugger.

"Good morning all." He gestured automatically towards Darren. "I guess you've all noticed you have a new -well, not so new by the look of it- fellow student, Darren Dubois, freshly arrived from Beauxbâtons." I snorted again, winning a glare by the three Ravenclaws standing in front of me. I stuck them my tongue.

"Today, we resume learning how to send a silent curse towards our enemy. Now, Darren, I suppose you'd like a demonstration?" I pushed my shoulders back. This was going to be fun. I elbowed Sirius and mouthed to him a beautiful "You're going to lose your ass today, Siri." He giggled and gestured a thumb against his throat.

Pr Freeman gestured towards us and we got on stage before a bewildered Darren. My wand out, I looked straight in Sirius' eyes, which were glittering with expectation. Last time, I had almost stunned him. Almost.

"Now, remember, Vala, Sirius, don't aim for each other's face like you did last time. It can get cheesy." We both snorted. "Wands at the ready!"

Sirius, for once, was the first to set fire. He didn't say a thing when his Stunning spell got out the tip of his wand, nor did I mutter _Protego_ before my shield shot his spell dead.

_Petrificus Totalus_. He dodged. _Rictumsempra_. Shield out. _Expelliarmus_. _Levicorpus_ made my curse blow up. _Reducto_. Blowed a candlestick off the ceiling.

I didn't notice at first, but Sirius and I duelling was just like a dance. Except that no one was leading the other. Until his Disarming charm hit my hand. I gripped my wand for dear life and when it only slipped a little, I growled for revenge, not caring a common shudder made itself heard across the classroom.

When I jumped on Sirius and pushed in to the ground, my wand placed on his throat as a sword, Pr Freeman cleared his voice. "Well done, Vala. A little unexpected, but well done. Sirius, I guess that makes you even."

I helped him up and we were both laughing when we got down the stage. Darren's gaze was bewildered. I ignored him and landed in Remus' arms, though his amber eyes were grave. "Did you lose it?"

I shook my head against his shoulder. "No, I had it under control. I just wanted to win this time."

o°o°o°o

"I just wanted to...apologize." I snorted at the word. "It wasn't a kind way to end our relationship."

My heartbeat quickened. "If we could have called it a relationship at all, Darren. What was I exactly? A spare girlfriend?" God damn it if I was losing it the boys weren't there to help. My luck.

"I...I never lied to you! I cared about you. Still do."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh please! As soon as she heard about it you ran back to her like a puppy! Very caring indeed! And why did she dump you huh?" His eyes darkened and I knew I had a point. There was no way he would come back if Jocelyn hadn't dumped him.

"None of your business. And besides, you're not even in a position to say anything."

My eyes widened and my pulse calmed down, surprise overwhelming anger. "Wh-what?"

" You go out with your dearest Remus, don't you? When you always said to me there was nothing between you, just _understanding_. Yeah, I can see now!" I chuckled. Jealous, Darren? Go to Hell!

"What then? I wasn't two-timing you when we were together, was I?"

His eyes got an evil glimpse I'd never seen in them before. What on Earth did I find in him? "I have seen things." My eyes darkened once more. Annoyed. "The way you look at Black. It isn't the way _friends_ would look at each other, is it?"

Good Lord! "Yeah, wow, I'm in love with _Black_ now, amusing! Do you realise how many idiocy you've said in less than a minute?"

"Yet you don't deny it!" His finger was inches from my face. I pushed it down.

"Yes I do! I-do-not-fancy-Sirius-Black!" Yet a strange hitch in my stomach made me want to take that back. I didn't fancy him, did I?

"Yeah, we'll see" And with these words Darren turned on his heels and headed for his common room.

I on my account headed for the Room of Requirements and asked for a place where I could blow things up. I got to my bed when my temper, anger and rage had all worn out. It took some while.

o°o°o°o

"Quidditch's on Saturday and none of you had come to a meeting whatsoever!" James' voice was angry, and I swallowed back a giggle. He was always grumpy when it came to Quidditch. I hope it won't pass over to his kids. "Sirius, I want you to stop hanging out with your girlfriend when you could agree on a strategy with McLaggen."

Sirius snorted. "If you want to talk strategy with McLaggen, in you go Prongs. That guy's a prat."

"Yeah, well, he isn't that bad on a broom, is he, so you just get your ass off the bench and got talk with him! _Now_!" I never heard him yell at his best friend. Ever. "Lily, love, have you seen Dan Spinnet lately?"

Lily turned to her boyfriend as if she had been drowned in her own thoughts. "What? Oh, Dan? Yes, we've talked yesterday and agreed on a full-on attack on Ravenclaw."

James nodded appreciatively, though I knew more than well that Lily had never spoken with Dan the day before. "And you, Chad?" He turned towards their Keeper, a fifth year Indian-looking boy whom I always thought was creepy.

After that animated breakfast, we all headed towards our courses, Remus and I parting, him towards the greenhouses, me towards McGonagall's classroom with James and Sirius. And Lissia. Who apparently wanted to be sure Sirius wasn't assaulted between the Great Hall and second-floor.

I hadn't noticed I was rolling my eyes until James put a hand around my shoulders. "Annoyed, aren't you dear friend?" His whisper was like a yell in my ears.

"What by, might I ask?" Annoyed, yes, but by his intervention.

"Lissia's glued to Pads, and I've noticed you don't like it anymore."

I pushed him aside and glared in his hazel eyes for a moment. Properly stunned. "I don't...care." I said before entering the room.

During the all class, where we were supposed to turn a teapot into a parrott, I never stopped thinking about what he said. Was I really getting annoyed with them couple doings? And if I was, _why was I_?

…**...**

**Darren's an ass. I confirm. Oh, and if you wondered what he looked like, I just based him on one of the actors I like the least, Ben Affleck. Sorry for those who like him, I just think he has a "slap face" as we say in Belgium... ;)**

**Review, please, it really would make my day!**


	15. Quidditch matters

**15. Quidditch matters.**

I was sitting with Remus, quietly waiting for the match to begin, when something suddenly struck me. I never liked Quidditch. I barely ever went to see Darren play, and that demanded reward. And now I was sitting there, impatiently waiting for it? Something was wrong. Something was awfully wrong.

"What are you thinking about?" Remus' eyes were curious on my face. His hand gripped mine. "Are you angry I brought you here?"

I shook my head. "No. As strange as it sounds, I'm happy to be here. It's the first time I feel like this about Quidditch."

He smiled widely. "I have two theories for you. One, you are impatient to see Darren being kicked off his broom by Lily. Two, you're impatient to see Sirius play."

I elbowed him. "You're ridiculous. How many times will I need to tell you there's nothing going on here?" I pointed my heart.

"Too many times, I'm afraid. You see, what's wrong with you is that you're doubled. One part of you, and I can only guess which one, likes me better, when another likes Sirius better."

I rolled my eyes. "That's nonsense. I like neither of you that way."

"Yeah, right, say that again after you've raped him." His grin reminded me of his father's. Devilshly right.

o°o°o°o°o

"Evans' got the Quaffle! She flies towards Ravenclaw's goals and dodges Bent. She turns around and...YES! That's ten points for Gryffindor!"

I got up my bench and waved my arms in the air. "Li-ly! Lil-ly! Li-ly!"

Remus burst into laugh. I eyed him quizzically. "You really seem to enjoy yourself." He laughed again.

I turned my attention back to the game. Ravenclaw had attempted to countermark, but Sirius' Bludger took McMillan' straight on the hand, made him drop the ball, which landed in James' palms. I smirked.

"Really, stop smiling like this, Lissia's watching."

I turned to face Remus, shock written on my face. "How am I smiling?"

His amber eyes widened. Obvious.

I huffed. "Really, Rem', stop dreaming."

Before me, Darren tried to catch the ball James shot towards him, but the Quaffle chanegd direction at the last moment, due to a perfect effect, and it caught him in the stomach. The shock sent him off his broom, but he recovered soon and grabbed his hilt to get back on it. I laughed hard this time.

"See how this moron tries to look better than anyone? He almost gets killed. Dumbass!"

Remus took my hand and pulled me away from the pitch, into the halls. I didn't say anything or ask why, I was a little relieved I could leave that place before my temper could go up.

"Vala?"

I realised he had tried to reach me for several minutes. I shook my head. "Yeah? Listening!"

"I know Easter's far from now, but I wondered if you still wanted to come over during the holidays."

My eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Really? Are you asking that? Remus Lupin, are you an idiot or what? Of course I'm coming for the holidays! Why d'you even ask?"

When he didn't answer, it suddenly struck me that the answer wouldn't be pleasant. "I just...wondered." He pulled me towards the commons, as we heard victory yells from behind. No wonder who had won, I could hear McGonagall's approving cries from there.

o°o°o°o°o

"I wondered if you'd be there tonight."

Sirius jumped into the neighbouring couch, as I looked up from my Transfiguration book. "Why? D'you need to see me?"

He grinned and my stomach ached with a strange feeling. "I didn't need to see you, Vala. I just wanted to spend sometime with you. I haven't in a while."

I snorted. "Of course you haven't. You're glued to Lissia 20/24."

"Is that jealousy I overhear, my dear?" His grey eyes started lighting with interest.

I snorted again. "No way. You do whatever you want with whomever you want, Black. It doesn't concern me." I quickly turned a page.

He sighed and ruffled his hair. "I wanted to ask you how you coped."

I closed the book and put it on the table. "If I coped with what, if I may ask?"

He leaned in, making sure no one listened. "With your father. You know, the "no family left" thing."

I felt my eyes watering at once, as always when something or someone was reminding me of my loss. A chosen loss, but the worst loss ever nevertheless. "I...try to cope." My voice broke at the end of the sentence.

Sirius hand touched mine. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. I'm the worst friend you can have."

I lifted my head to face his eyes, so close to mine. "Friend? So you do consider yourself as my friend, Sirius?" Almost hope in my voice, I confess.

"As I can't be something else, yes, I do consider myself as your friend." His eyes darkened a bit.

I got up, took my book on the table and walked towards the stairs. "Thank you, Sirius. Thank you very much."

He caught my arm and made me turn as I stepped onto the first step. "Wait, Vala. I-"

I shushed him with a kiss on the cheek. "Don't ask me. You know what the answer would be. Don't." And I climbed the stairs to my dormitory.

o°o°o°o°o

As I entered the silent room, I did as I could not to wake Lily, but as always, she knew. She always knew.

"Vala? Is that an hour to get to bed?"

I silently laughed while I took my clothes off to put my pijamas on. "I was studying. You know I don't like reading in here when others want to sleep."

She snorted. "You really need to open your eyes, Vala." I heard her lift herself up. I saw her figure in the dark, and her green eyes which were pearcing mine.

"Open my eyes on what?"

"You do fancy him. You can say whatever you want about it, it's obvious. And he likes you too. I wish I was a better matchmaker, but you'll have to discover it soon or I'll kill you both."

And with those words, Lily lied to resume her sleep. Leaving me speechless.

Almost speechless. "Fancy who?"

And for once, it wasn't a fake question.

**...**

**Sorry I made this chapter shorter than the others, but I thought I couldn't let you wait too much. This waiting time was enough to disgust you from reading Biting Back, I'm sure...**

**Unfortunately, my computer's down until the 28th, so I have to write on my Mum's computer, without my music and inspiration. Hence the sucking chapters...**

**Forgive me, and review of course!**


	16. Holidays and unwanted visitor

**16. Holidays and unwanted visitor.**

"Hurry up, Vala, we'll miss the train!"

Remus was standing in his compartment, waving to me through the glass. I was running to catch the train, and thanks to Lily, I had almost forgotten my trunk in our dorm. Dammit!

I got in the same time the controler whistled for departure. I sighed in relief and tried to push my way towards where Remus was sitting. I bounced into some third years who looked at me angrily, and then I found myself in front of Regulus.

"Hey Reg'! How are you?"

He was standing not far from where I could hear Sirius laugh. So he was -again- eavesdropping on his brother. "Oh! Hey Vala! I'm fine, thanks. You?"

"Perfect. You want to talk to Sirius? I can call him for you."

"Oh, no! I wasn't-" He cut dead when he saw my "yeah, say that again" face. He sighed. "OK, then, can you give this to him? I know they plan to go fishing someday, and this is his favourite. It was our grandfather's."

He handed me a folded fishing pole. Very old, with their mark on it, scratched as if on purpose. "I will. But someday, Regulus Black, you'll have to make a move!" I started walking towards the box and waved him goodbye.

o°o°o°o°o

"Hello guys! Have you missed me?" I entered the compartment and what I saw wasn't depleasant. Remus had saved me a seat on his right, just next to Sirius, who had Lissia reading on his lap (for once I didn't complain). Lily and James were entertwined on the other bench, with Peter looking by the window to see where the trolley had gone.

"No, that's a fact, we haven't missed you the slightest!" James' grin made me laugh.

"Oh, Sirius, I bounced into Regulus again. He wanted to give you this, but didn't want to disturb you." I handed him the pole, while he just looked at it with his grey eyes wide with surprise.

"My...brother...gave you this?" I nodded. "That's-"

"Your grandfather's fishing pole, yes, he told me. Are you gonna take it or not?"

"Why did he give it to you?"

I sighed. "I told you, he wanted to hand it himself but he is on the impression you'd rip his head off."

"And he's right." He took the pole and pushed it into his sack. "Filthy moron. Does he think I'd get home again with a fishing pole?"

I sat myself next to Remus, took his hand and then turned to Sirius again. "You're an idiot. Your brother didn't ask what had been going on between your parents and you. I'm positive he didn't want his only brother to leave." Then I put my head on Remus' shoulder. "I hope Helen hadn't cooked much. I'm not that hungry."

o°o°o°o°o

John's arms were around me as soon as I got of the train. I returned the hug. "Hello, John."

Helen wasn't there, as usual. She probably was still cooking a celebration diner. I smiled to the empty air.

"My dear children, welcome home!" John stretched his arms on both sides of his body and I cluntched one, whilst Remus took the other. We silently Apparated in the Lupins garden.

I felt a wave of happiness flowing on me as I took a sight of my new home. It felt almost right. Almost, because I had not still grieved my father. I entered the kitchen behind Remus and jumped into Helen's arms after him. "Helen. I'm so...so happy to be here."

She kept stroking my hair until Remus pulled me out of her grip. "Hey, you'll have thousands of opportunities to hug during these two weeks, can't we just get upstairs and get tidied?"

I laughed while we got into our rooms. "You're jealous!"

"I'm not. It's just...Mum has other things to do than hugging you every two seconds."

"That's what I said. You're jealous."

"Wait until Sirius comes here for the feast next week, we'll see who's jealous."

I pillowed him from across the corridor. "You're impossible, Remus John Lupin. I hate you. From now on, you're not my favourite Marauder." My eyes widened when I realised what I'd just said.

He grinned widely. "I've never been your favourite, so what change does it make?"

I slammed the door behind me and started giggling. What was the matter with me?

o°o°o°o°o

"So, tell me, what do you want to do tomorrow?"

We just had finished eating the delicious lemon pie Helen had cooked for dessert, and she was already undoing the table, with my help of course.

"I dunno. What does Remus wanna do?"

"He's going fishing with the boys tomorrow, my darling."

"Oh." I looked back to where John and Remus were talking. Why didn't he tell me? "Then I guess I'll stay here. I don't have any ideas where to go. I'll most probably do my homework and help you with the house, that sort of things."

She put her hand on my cheek. "You don't need to help me, my love. You're here on holidays. Do something else. Go for a walk, take a broom and visit some of your friends, I don't know, but don't stay indoors. Please."

I just nodded before walking towards the boys. "Hey, John, can't you give a map or something? I think I'll go on a walk tomorrow afternoon."

Remus looked at me with wide eyes, but didn't say anything. John, on the other hand, smiled, nodded and disappeared to his office to look for the demanded map.

I sat next to my soulmate and sighed.

"What is it?" He finally asked, twitching his fingers.

"You know what. Can't you just act like a normal being and tell me you're going fishing with your friends?"

"I didn't want to...upset you."

"I'm beyond being upset, Rem'. You can have a life, you know. I'm not meant to be glued to you like Lissia is with him." I shifted on the couch and put my feet under my legs. "I can perfectly look after myself."

"I know." He sighed again. "That's not easy, you know. Letting you alone."

I looked at him all in a sudden. His eyes, half brown half amber, were almost sad in his scarred face. "I'm not alone, Remus. I need some time with myself too. I'm a girl, I can manage without you for a day." I put a hand on his.

"It's like...I dunno. I feel like I have to be with you always."

"I know the feeling. Side effects again." I giggled but didn't mean it.

"Are you sure you can be fine?"

"Go. And tell James to look after you. Maybe I can visit Lily. We'll have plenty of things to say on your backs." I put a finger on my cheek to fake intense thinking.

He giggled too. "Okay then, I'm reassured. With Lily, I know nothing will happen to you. She'll lock you in if I ask her."

"Or so you think."

I got up and walked upstairs. This was going to be a strange day...

o°o°o°o°o

The following morning, when I got up, Remus was already gone, but he had left a note on my desk. "Be careful. Have a nice day. R." I had folded it and put it in my schoolrobes, before getting dressed. The sun was high, but I could feel the air was still a bit chilly, so I put on a light dress on a jean, and a coton jacket which matched it.

"Morning." Helen was still in the kitchen, doing the dishes. I grabbed a toast and quickly ate it before turning to the map John had finally found me.

I was far away from Little Whinging, so no visit to Lily for today. I still spotted a small route going through the not far forest, and circling the village. I could go for a walk out there.

"Helen? Is the Forest of Manheim safe? I'd like to take a walk there."

She barely turned to me, and continued to wash the dishes. "Yes, it's perfectly safe. But take a thicker jacket, it can be chilly in the tree shadows."

I smiled, kissed her cheek, put my baskets on and took my black leather jacket. I had the map imprinted in my head, no need to take it. My still, my wand was ready in my sleeve.

When I opened the door, I jumped out of my skin. Someone was standing on the doorstep. Someone I thought I'd never see again.

"Hello, Vala."

"Hello, Joshua." I collapsed backwards and landed in Helen's arms.

"What do you think you are doing here, sir?" Her voice was angrier than I ever heard it, and between two rushes of numbness I could see my father's cheeks were becoming redder every second.

"It's alright, Helen." My voice my still shocked. "I'll manage."

"No you won't! Stay in here so I can see you!" She pulled me inside, my father following, and sat me in the living-room before returning to close the door. "You have ten minutes. After that, I swear I'll curse you out!"

I turned to face he who had raised me. "So? Did you suddenly remember my existence?"

**...**

**I know it's a bit harsh, seeing how I never told anything more than needed about her father, but that's precisely why I wanted him to interfere once again. To...settle things down.**

**Review please!**


	17. Two unexpected conversations

_ A/N: As always, I do only own Vala, her father, and Remus' parents, because I don't really know how they were supposed to be._

**17. Two unexpected conversations.**

"So, you just...come here and...think you can have me back, is that it?" I was feeling so tired already, seeing my father, the man I had so admired when I was little, the man who told me beautiful stories when I couldn't sleep, and yet the man who had pushed me aside when I became what I am.

"No, I..." He sighed and started playing with his hands. "Darren came by."

I narrowed my eyes. "_Darren?_ What the Hell was he thinking?"

"Apparently, he wanted to see you. And seeing only me and Moira, he asked what was going on." His voice was a whisper, but I heard it as clear as white.

"And you told him _everything_? Just like _that_?" I got up and started pacing around the room, feeling my inner temper growing like an hungry beast. "You really did tell _everything_ to the boy who ripped my heart to pieces?"

Joshua got up too, and looked me right in the eyes. "You could forgive him."

"So that you could have an ally to spy on me? No, no, too easy a move, Joshua."

"Don't call me _that_!"

"You've lost the right of being called Dad years ago!" My fists were so tight blood could already not flow my fingers.

"I...I can't ask for forgiveness, Vala, because I am not sorry. And I'm not the only one to think so. Moira says th-"

"_Moira_ says? _Moira_? Because you've told your wife everything? Are you _insane_?" I walked towards him, threatening with all my rage. He walked back a little, but his anger was as tough as mine. "I am your only child! Your flesh and blood! Can you explain to your dearest wife -how is she by the way- that you drew a cross on your daughter because she had an _accident_?"

"_Accident_?" He huffed. "You're a bomb! A grenade! Look at you! You're ready to fire at me, to rip me into pieces! For what? For a _boy's_ sake?"

I stopped dead and released my hands. "What...what do you mean?" My voice was lower but still angry, so he couldn't think I had surrendered.

"You know what I mean. You could have got yourself cured!"

I burst into a joyless laugh. "Been cured? You really are that idiot to think I'm enjoying myself? _There-is-no-cure!_"

"Yeah, tell me about it!" Then he finally got his coat back and walked towards the front door. "Don't ever ask to come back when you have returned to normal. Ever!" And he closed the door on my face once more.

I heard Helen bolting from the kitchen and felt her arms around me. I slowly turned to face her. "Helen? Is there really a cure?"

She sobbed a little. I knew our conversation must have been hard to hear. "I don't know, sweatheart. I don't know."

o°o°o°o°o

We dined all alone that day, Helen and I. I was still thinking about that "conversation" I had with Joshua. He really had decided I wasn't worth his affection anymore. But more than anything, I wondered if there really was a cure to my condition. And if there was, would I take it?

"Helen? Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, my love, of course you can."

"Are you going to work this afternoon?"

"Yes, I am." I could see in her eyes that she was already guessing what I would ask next. "I know a very good lycanthropist in St Mungo's, darling. I can drop you at her office and you could come home after, if you'd like."

I nodded. "I'd like to."

She nodded back and then stroke my cheek. "I wish there really was a cure."

"I know."

o°o°o°o°o

Helen was a nurse in St Mungo's. She was working in the emergency hall. So when we arrived by Floo network early after diner, she dropped my hand to let some wounded wizard and witches come through the crowd. There was a man who had a spoon in his nose, a woman who had cut her thumb and had it in her other hand, and even a child who had a pig nose and ears.

"This way, Vala." Helen drove me to the lifts, which were way more welcoming than the Ministry ones. "Push on the sixth button, then go to your right and search for Pr Almish. There's a plaque. See you later, my sweetie." She kissed my forehead and hurried back to her patients.

I took a deep breath and pushed the sixth floor button.

The lift got to its destination in no time. Really useful in an hospital. I turned to my right, and there was an empty corridor. On the wall was written, in golden letters "Genetic department". I shuddered. My problem wasn't genetic at all!

I got to Pr Almish's door in about five minutes time. There was a small golden plaque next to it. "Pr A. Almish, lycanthropist" it said. I followed the letters with my finger until I felt brave enough to knock.

"Come in." So Pr Almish was a woman. That would make things easier.

I turned the doorknob and entered the strangest office ever.

Of course, as any doctor's office, there was a white bed ready for consultations, and a monitor. But the walls were covered in schemes. One of a man, one of a werewolf and one of the transformation itself. There was also a huge calendar with every patient's name written days before the full moon. I guessed she had to look after them then.

I turned to finally face Dr Almish. She could have been in her early fourties, with small wrinkles on the corner of her black eyes, and black hair tied up in a ponytail. She seemed soft and nice. I shook hands with her.

"Vala Emerald, Pr. I'm here on-"

"Sit down, Vala. I'm sure we're going to have a long and uncomfortable discussion here, better get yourself comfy." She then waved her wand and I heard the door lock.

I sit on one of the seats in front of her desk. She enchanted a quill and it wrote my name on top of an empty file. Her gaze was quizzical, but she waited until I was ready to speak.

"I am...half a werewolf."

"Since?"

"My eleventh year."

"So...how many years? If I may ask, of course."

"Of course. Six years and about...one month and fifteen days I guess."

"Where have you been bitten?"

"School."

"Oh. So it was you then. That Remus bit."

My eyes widened. "You do-"

"Know Remus? Yes, he is my patient, as many others. I wondered when you'd come to me, Miss Emerald."

"Why?"

"Well, your condition isn't as hard as if you were fully a werewolf. There are some potions that can ease your state." She played with some papers on her desk.

"You mean, like a cure?"

She chuckled. "No, I'm afraid not like a cure. You see, as much as genetically it would be easy to erase every part of werewolf venom in your body, as much as mentally, it would kill you. Especially after such a long time." I sighed in disappointment. "Has Madam Pomfrey given you anything to ease your...anger?"

I nodded. "Calming potion."

"How many times?"

"Three times now. One on Christmas Eve, one on...a difficult day and one recently, when I was due to have my Apparition license exam."

"You were due to? Meaning you didn't go?"

"Yes, I did. But the judges wanted to see me alone." I sighed. "I'm tired of everyone being scared of me."

"Everyone does not know your condition, I'm sure."

"No, but those who know are...careful with me."

"I'm sure they are." She then handed me a paper filled with names. "This is a list of the potions you could try. Be careful, a awful lot of them won't work, as every case is different. But Madam Pomfrey will make sure you're safe to use them. Just give the list to her. She's the best nurse on Earth." I nodded again. "Now, Vala, I'm sorry but this is when the questions begin to be...personal."

I blushed. "Alright. You can't say anything outside this office anyway, can you?"

She chuckled again. "No, you're right, I can't. Now, Vala, tell me, have you got...special longings when you're close to Remus?"

I blushed again. "I...we...are only friends."

"That's not what I asked."

"Oh. Ahem, yes, when we are together, I tend to...grab his hand or...sit on his lap, that kind of things."

"Have you ever desired him?"

The question took me off guard. "What? No! Of course not! That'd be like having an incestuous affair with my brother!"

"Calm down, Vala. That question was an easy one. You see, some of the people who are like you, because you're not the only case I've seen, tend to be...let's say..._wild_ when their creator is close."

"That's not my case."

The quill wrote the line as fast as I could blow. "Now, do you have a boyfriend?"

"No, I don't."

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

"Yes, during three years. Until this summer."

She nodded thoughtfully. "Okay. Did he know?"

"I had to tell him, I couldn't not be...you know...honest."

"Yes, of course." Then she leaned in and looked at me very seriously in the eyes. "Has he blackmailed you since your affair ended?"

"No, he hasn't." Then I thought about it closely. "Though he certainly could."

"Okay. Then I have to ask for his name." She lifted a hand when she saw I was going to interfere. "I'm not going to do anything against him, just ask him to come and explain the situation. The situation being, if he tells anyone about your problem, he'll have to answer to the court. These matters are confidential, Vala, you have to know it."

I narrowed my eyes again. So many informations in so little time! I wrote Darren's name on the file, before the quill took power over it once again.

"Now for the last question. Have you felt yourself torn recently?"

I looked at her quizzically. "Yes, how do you know?"

"I've seen that enough now to recognize the symptoms. You see, and I'm sure you're clever enough to guess it your way, you have two personalities. Your human side, all soft and caring and I'm sure wonderful, and your inner wolf, careful and angry and blood lusting. And those two halves long for something, or someone, different. I can guess you have your inner wolf quite under control, as you haven't raped poor Remus yet. But I'm certain you're struggling to make it accept your human choices. Are you...drawn to someone?"

I first wanted to deny it, but as it was a private discussion, I stopped lying to myself. "Yes, I am."

"Then I'll try and find a way for you to get out of this infernal spiral. I promise. Now, I'm sorry, but I have another patient coming."

"Of course." I got up, shook her hands strongly and thanked her once more. She gave me a card, to join her anywhere, and made me take the Floo network to get home quicker.

As I took one last sight of her office and felt my body spin in the fireplace, I thought that for once I was lucky.

**...**

**Geez that was a hard one!**

**Review please!**


	18. Water washes worries away

_ A/N: Sorry for the wait, readers, but you can't possibly imagine how hard it is to prepare lessons... ;)_

**18. Water washes worries away.**

The following morning, I was sitting next to a lake before I could remember how I got there. As soon as Remus had come home the previous night, he had jumped onto my bed and I couldn't possibly hide all of it from him. I told him everything, even the part where I admitted to myself that I liked Sirius. But in spite of the mocking smirk I expected, I only won myself a bone-crushing hug. As always when things were hard to fit in, I slept in his arms.

"I wish there really was a cure for you." His hands were playing with flowers while my gaze was studying the beautiful scenery. We were some miles away from his home, but alone enough to be comfy.

"Why?" My voice was soft and the breeze was calming my inner-stress.

"Because you and Sirius are meant to be together. I just can't imagine you without him and the contrary." I looked up in his half-brown half-amber eyes and saw that he was painfully sincere.

"I guess I'll only have to wait until Lissia gets tired of him then." I tried to add a joking side to my voice, but I really was somehow afraid of that.

I was getting that strange feeling, you know, when you admitted you liked someone and you're frightened to death about what might happen. Like if Sirius was there now, I would probably run away like a coward.

Remus got up and took his jacket off. April's air was already warm, warmer than usual. It was almost as hot as in early June. I lied down in the grass and kicked my shoes away to feel the soil beneath my feet. I loved doing that, it reminded me of being little.

"Rem'?"

"Mmh?" I could hear he was lying down too, close to me yet I couldn't see him in the corner of my eye.

"I like being like this. Lying down, in the warm weather, nothing can happen, you know, we're just...peaceful."

I heard him chuckled softly. "Sometimes I wonder if you're not more wolfy than I. I'm sure you'd like to live in the forest or something. Listening to the birds, talking to the trees..."

I giggled. "Yeah, it would be great. But I couldn't see the sun much."

"You hate the sun." He said matter-of-factly.

"No, I hate the heat, that's not the same." I sat up once more. The birds were singing loudly in the nearby woods, and the wind was warmer than minutes before. I took my wand out my sleeve. "Accio swimsuit!"

Remus bolted upright. "You're kidding!"

I turned to face him and patted his cheek. "Are you afraid to see me drown?"

"No, I'm afraid to see you get out of the water freezing to death!"

I got up and started to take my jacket off, then put my hair up in a tight bun. "Then you'll be the most useful person on Earth to warm me up." I kissed his cheek, Put my hand up and caught my blue swimsuit then was flowing towards me. I walked away to get dressed in the woods.

As much as I trusted him like Hell, I really wasn't then confident to stand naked in front of him...

When I got back, he had taken his shoes off and was playing with his feet on the water.

"Is it decent?" I took a palm full and threw it to my back, then did it again to my shoulders and finally face.

"Yes." His voice was somehow grumpy, but I didn't care that much. He always had been that overprotecting.

"Whenever you're ready, Sir." I saluted army style and then plunged right into the water.

The feeling was the most calming kind. I may be half a werewolf, but I could definitely have been a mermaid.

o°o°o°o°o

When I finally got out of the water, it was later than 1pm. Remus was drying his clothes, or was trying to using his wand, after I pulled him in when I got tired of swimming alone.

I dried myself using magic and parted to the woods once more to get changed. I was whistling loudly, happy and calmed as I was. Someone who could have seen me at that moment could never have guessed what had happened the day before.

"Rem'? Where are you?" When I got back to the clearing, my bestfriend/sibling had disappeared. I put a hand to my eyes to see better in the sunlight, when suddenly I was pulled off the floor towards the water. "Remus Lupin! Put me down!"

Of course he didn't let go, and I landed in the lake, who seemed to be colder than minutes before. "Now we're even!" He laughed and when I turned to face him, he bowed. "Miss." I stuck out my tongue to him before ducking under the surface once more.

Mostly to hide my smile.

o°o°o°o°o

When we got home, Helen had already parted to work. She had left lunch on the table, accompanied by a note that said she hoped we had a good time and didn't mess our clothes up. We laughed at it and then hurried to get changed and hide the said messed up clothes in the laundry bag.

I got downstairs wearing one of my favourite summer dresses, white with red tiny flowers all over it. Remus had put a simple white shirt on, with a pair of lightblue jeans I had begged him to buy during the previous summer.

"Helen has a sixth sense when it comes to our messings." I chuckled while grabbing a jam toast.

He chuckled back. "Yeah. I guess that's an advantage of having a Marauder as a son."

I looked over towards the calendar which was hanging next to the fridge. "When is your party due again?" I could guess he would think I was impatient to see Sirius, but in fact it wasn't that at all. "I'd like to visit Diagon Alley again to fetch your parents' present." I took a bite under his disapproving look. "Sorry. _Our_ parents' present." I wasn't used to it yet.

"Next Friday. But Mum wants us to get our rooms ready on Thursday, and you know what that means." He sighed and I chuckled.

"Your books will be just fine in the attic."

"Yeah, if you say so. Anyway, we have to fetch the tent on Wednesday with Dad, and get it ready by Friday morning, so that the cooks can get the tables ready my midday or something."

I whistled. "Have you planned everything already? It's in a week!"

He shrugged. "You know how she is. Planning everything years before the date to be sure she doesn't forget anything."

I laughed. "Bad news then you're just like her." He threw me a piece of bread which landed right in my face. That just made me laugh harder.

He stopped his messing and looked at me in a weird way? I lifted my eyebrows in wonder. "You're just...looking happy."

I shrugged. "I am. Some days like this one can be the happiest moments of my life. I'm taking all of this and burying it deep in my mind for hard times."

He took my hand from over the table. "Then I'll make sure these holidays will be the happiest you've ever had."

I got up and kissed his cheek. "You're already doing it, Rem'."

…**...**

**I know, nothing happens much, but I needed a lighter chapter.**

**Besides, that's also me wishing sun could come early this year. I don't care if it's March, bring in the sun so I can put dresses on! :D**

**Review please!**

**Oh, and a massive thank you to all those who have added my story to their favourites! I'm really chuffed as would say Martin Freeman... *drools***


	19. A ball?

_ A/N: Here comes the difficult chapter... ^^''_

**19. A ball?**

"Vala dear, have you cleaned your room as I asked you?" Helen's voice was the funniest when so stressed. It was supposed to be her day, her 20th anniversary with John, and she was running around the house, verifying for the hundredth time if everything was perfect.

"Yes, I have. Yesterday." I got out of the kitchen where I was washing the drinking glasses John asked me to prepare for the arrival of our guests, three hours later.

Helen turned her worried head towards me and came to put her hands on my shoulders. "I'm sorry, dear, I know I shouldn't worry like that, but I can't help it..." She sighed and I giggled.

"You're the best. Now, if you may, Mrs Lupin, I think it's time for you to lock yourself into your bathroom and to take care of yourself. I'll watch over everything."

She laughed a little. "You're supposed to take care of yourself too, Vala."

"I can manage. I have done the biggest this morning, I just have to do my hair and put my dress on."

She kissed my forehead. "I bless the day where you were born, my darling." And she stormed upstairs.

Remus entered the house, his hands all dirty from gardening. I laughed out loud until he wiped his hands on my clothes. "Rem'!"

He just winked. "So, where's she?"

"I just got her upstairs." I smiled.

"Finally!" He shot his hands to the sky. "Can I help you with something?"

I put the last glass on the full kitchen table. "Here, wash your hands and help me carrying this outside. Is the tent ready?" I lifted myself on my toes to see the beautiful feast tent hanging in the garden. All the tables were already prepared for diner, and two empty tables on the grass were waiting for my glasses and the food the cooks would bring in sometime.

I watched the clock. In two hours and fifty minutes, they would be there. I shuddered a little. Remus wiped his washed hands and circled my waist. "You'll do perfect." He kissed my hair and I giggled.

"You know that we are siblings now. You should try and stop acting like that with me, my love." I turned to face him and tickled his nose.

"Would you prefer if I did _that_?" And he chased me in the living-room, trying to tickled my stomach, where he knew I couldn't resist screaming.

John entered the kitchen. I ran to him and kissed his cheek. "Hello, John. Have you had a nice day?"

He looked at me in a strange way, as if he was suspicious of something. "Yes, I have." He looked over at his son. "Where's you mother, kids?" I felt a tickle on my heart everytime he said that.

"She's upstairs. Vala finally got her to take care of herself. You should join her, we'll watch over things."

"I know you will." Heading towards the stairs, he ruffled Remus' hair before joining his wife in the bathroom.

I turned to Remus. "Do you think they know?"

"No, they don't. They certainly are suspicious we might have bought them something, but not that..." He giggled and I soon joined in.

I started taking the glasses towards the tables, and watched the garden. Remus had done his best, and I thought it was beautiful. He had hanged lamps in the woods, tracing a path towards a clearing where he had enchanted logs to benches. He had magically sculpted the bushes so they were only faintly moving with the almost summer wind. "That's beautiful, Rem'."

Beside me, he shrugged. "I've had the best teachers." I turned and lifted my chin to see the bathroom lights on, and I smiled to myself.

Once we were done, Remus turned to me. "You should get yourself ready. Taming those will take sometime." He pointed at my hair. I stuck him my tongue before running in my bedroom.

o°o°o°o°o

An good hour and a half later, I got out of my bedroom, all pimping and ready to present myself as John and Helen's new child. I was so nervous I had almost ate one of my fingers. Fortunately, I knew about false nails.

My dress wasn't that special. A simple strapless light blue dress, with matching earrings and shoes, and all of that made my waving hair light up. Red on blue, perfect match.

I had put on bright pink nails, but who would mind? I did whatever I wanted when it came to clothing.

When I got downstairs, the boys were already ready. John wore a simple white shirt and a purple tie, matching Helen's dress, with black smoking trousers and shoes. Remus was wearing a light blue shirt matching my dress, with a smoking black jacket and bow-tie.

"You look good, boys." I posted myself next to the kitchen sink, watching as the sun got down and the cooks and waiters were already putting everything into place.

John whistled when his wife got down the stairs. She really was beautiful. Her dress lightly touched the ground but didn't entrave her moves. Her brown hair was tied up in a complicated bun. All you could do was drooling over her. She turned to me and winked. "See, I still have a power over men!"

I giggled. We had had a conversation about a colleague of hers that was stubbornly asking her for a drink. Of course he was invited. I wouldn't miss John's reaction for the world.

o°o°o°o°o

Then I heard characteristic cracks outside. So did Remus.

"Someone has arrived." He walked towards me and opened the back door. He sniffed the air. "That's Lily. Vals?"

I nodded and calmly walked towards my friend, who was waiting in front of the garden door. She was wearing a green dress, as always highlighting her eyes, and was looking slightly worried.

"Lils!" I took her in my arms. It had been a full week and a half since I last saw her, in spite of our letters. "What is it?" I whispered in her ear.

"My parents. They didn't want to come and meet "people like me"." I could hear she had cried. I tightened around her while I drove her towards the house.

"Don't worry. "People like you" love you better than them." I kissed her cheek and she giggled a little. I smiled in victory.

"Hello, Lils!" Remus greeted her with a small hug and then passed us towards the door. I too had heard someone else arrive. But unlike my "brother", I couldn't guess who it was.

I let Lily greet the Lupins and waited outside for whoever had arrived. Of course I should have guessed they would be next.

James was quasi running down the lawn towards the house. I was sure he had spotted his still mysterious girlfriend and wanted to see her as soon as possible. He was wearing a black shirt and dark blue tie, loosened on his chest. He barely kissed my cheek and mumbled something, before heading to the kitchen. I giggled in my breath.

Mr and Mrs Potter were nice-looking people. James looked a lot like his father, but his eyes and smile definitely were his mum's. I shook their hands but they wanted to greet me other way. James' mother hugged me and greeted me welcome in that big family. I smiled, a little intimidated. I heard them yelling John's and Helen's name into the house and I guessed they were as close as their children were.

"Wow, you do look...well." I narrowed my eyes to Sirius. He was looking as stunning as usual, of course, wearing no tie, just a violet shirt matching Lissia's toga. She was good-looking, for once, without her torn jeans and fox eyes. I hugged her a little and just nodded to Sirius. Remus giggled behind him. I swore I'd curse him in the morning.

Someone else Apparated. I walked towards the fences to greet them. The farthest from Black I'd be, the safest I would feel.

o°o°o°o°o

There were approximatively fifty people invited to the feast, and all of them were craving to meet me, apparently. Some of John's colleagues knew my true father and patted my shoulder when John told them why I was a Lupin now. I smiled to each and everyone, even if I was growing more and more uncomfortable as the night went by.

James and Lily had started talking as soon as he got a grip on her. They had much to discuss, as her parents had forbidden her to go on holiday with him. Remus and Peter were sitting calmly and silently next to the dance floor, and Sirius and Lissia were as usual locked on one seat, though I could see she wasn't really happy. I wondered why, even if, to be honest, I didn't give a damn.

Then we both decided, Remus and I, that it was time for us to step up.

I walked to him and we took our place in front of the disc-jokey. I aimed to my throat with my wand and magically altered my voice so it would echo around the whole house.

"Dear guests, it's now time for us to talk a little."

"As you all know, John and Helen are our parents, even though our family might be bigger according to...some facts." Remus took in as we planned, pointing towards his best friends when needed. Sirius smiled warmly, James giggled out loud, and Peter, as usual, tried to seem smaller in his seat.

"They now have been married for twenty years, and that's an achievement during these times. We both wondered what would be a good present for them to know how we love them..."

"...apart from our presence, of course." The crowd giggled. We had agreed Remus would be the "Sirius" of the speech.

"And we both agreed we were big enough to take care of the house for a few days, so..."

"...so we decided to get rid of them for a week or two." Remus' waved his wand and two blue birds appeared in the sky, flying towards our parents, carrying an envelope containing their present.

"You can open it, it won't bite." I mimicked claws and John laughed out loud, alone. I soon followed and the crowd ended our shameful outburst by laughing too.

Helen opened the envelope and took their two plane tickets. She read it in a bolt, and then her watering eyes met mine. "Caribbean?"

"You can say you won't go. That would be a good holiday for Vals and I." I elbowed him. Not too much, Rem'. He nodded, smiling.

Helen ran towards us and embraced us as tightly as she could. John kissed my cheek and ruffled Remus' hair as usual. When I got myself out of their grasps, I turned to the master of music and nodded.

"Helen, John, here's your song. Enjoy it!" And the first notes of their wedding song, "Nothing else matters" by Metallica, started to fill in the silence I'd left open.

…**...**

**I like writing those chapters where lighter things happen.**

**But I had to cut, you know why... ;)**

**I swore myself I would update each and every fanfic I had hanging, so check the others, they're all gonna be updated today! :D**

**Review, please!**


	20. I'll let go if you let go

_ A/N: So, I'm calmly sitting in a room next to the teachers' room, waiting for the second hour I'll teach today. And guess what? Inspiration's all over me! :D_

**20. I'll let go if you let go.**

A few minutes later, I found myself pulled on the dance floor by no other than James, who apparently wanted nothing more than dancing the Macarena with me. As I feared, we soon were the only ones to giggle and mock each other, and for sure I felt as if everyone's eyes were on me.

Remus walked to me when the song ended and I kissed James' cheek as he went back to Lily.

"Vals? Will you?" He outstretched his hand and my eyebrows furrowed.

"Really? You, Remus Lupin, the master of "I step on your feet", dancing with me?" I faked extreme honour, and he giggled.

"I demand the honour of stepping on my favourite sister's feet."

I took his hand. "Demand accepted. It's so easy to have me by the feelings." I gripped his arm and waved towards the D.J. To put on something more moving than a slow. When he put "Rock'n roll train" on, I almost thanked the Lord I had landed in a rock fan family.

o°o°o°o°o

As soon as we were done, and so as soon as I was finished having my toes reduced to purée, we went to sit by James, Lily and of course Sirius and Lissia. Peter, as usual, had disappeared next to the buffet.

"So, you're officially family, then?" Lissia took a sip of her champagne, acting as if she was a grown up. It made me smirk.

"Yep, definitely. But that doesn't mean she can steal my books whenever she wants to..." Remus put an arm around me, and I patted his thigh.

"Nor that you'll be allowed to enter the bathroom when not wanted, dearest brothie."

James burst out laughing. "Really, if I didn't know better, you act like a married couple!"

I giggled back. "Really? Wow! That would upset Darren to the most. Asshole." I mumbled.

"Oh yeah, talking about that git. Apparently he got a grip onto someone else."

Lily leaned forward. "Yeah, be happy to hear that Mary McDonald officially is your replacement."

My eyes widened. "Mary? But, she knows, right?"

Lily nodded. "I've always thought she was an opportunist. I suspect her to have had views on him since he arrived."

Sirius cleared his throat. "As interesting as this girl babbling is, I'd like to dance, don't you honey?"

Lissia, to my very surprise, shook her head almost violently. "No, thanks."

He shrugged and got up to walk towards some other girls, John's colleagues' daughters or something.

I turned to Lissia. "Ali? Is there something wrong?"

Remus snorted. James giggled. Lily just sighed. Lissia looked at me, really stunned. "You're asking? I mean, you really are asking?"

"Yes, I am." I was totally oblivious.

"Vala, my dear, would you please accompany me inside, I'd like to have a word." I turned to face Helen and silently got up, eyeing Lissia as she was still looking at me as if I was a total idiot.

"Comin'."

o°o°o°o°o

"I'd thought it might be better if I freed you from them for a moment."

"That was a great idea. But thankfully the potion isn't wearing out yet." I looked at my fingers, and felt relieved to see they were still as short as usual.

"Vala, can I ask you something?"

"Yes, Helen, of course!"

"You haven't bought this alone, have you," She pointed towards their gift envelope.

I giggled. "No, I haven't. Rem' and I both put half of it. And I assure you it doesn't mean anything."

She sighed. "I was afraid you did buy it alone. I don't cant Remus to owe you anything, darling, you hear me? If he can't buy something, don't lent him ever!" She nearly put her index on my face.

It felt funny to see her exhaling her worries that way. I just shrugged again and walked towards the front door.

"Helen, I'm going for a walk. Tell the others I' coming back soon, okay?"

I grabbed a jean jacket in case, and my wand, still in case.

The air wasn't as warm as it was inside of the tent, but it still wasn't chilly. It felt good.

I silently started to walk, enjoying the stars, and headed towards the river.

o°o°o°o°o

It didn't take him long to find me. I had put my jacket down and sat on it, feet in the water, still glaring at the starry sky.

"What the Hell are you doing here?"

I didn't jump, I knew he was coming. I just prayed the potion would still work for sometime, and I calmly shrugged. "None of your business."

He huffed and came to sit beside me. "Whatever."

"You? Why are you here?"

"I was trying to...think..."

"Wow, that must be really difficult."

He giggled, and it sounded like a bark. I looked at him with the corner of my eye. He was in the same exact position as I was, staring at the sky an trying to find some unknown star.

"Sirius?"

"Mmh?"

"Is there something wrong between you and Lissia?"

I sensed him turning right at me, but I didn't move. "Why are you asking? It's not like you were interested anyway...

"Indeed. You do what you want of your life. I just wanted to know, in case you wanted to talk about it."

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Perfect."

We remained silent for about seven minutes, and then he sighed. "I'm tired of her."

This time I turned to face him.

Sirius had rarely seemed to distressed. As if he didn't know what to do. That was something I wasn't used to, as he usually perfectly knew how to dump a girl.

"Why?" His grey eyes met mine and I understood. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh." He shot into some rock in the river, and then he sighed again. "It's like I'm stuck into something for the very first time in my life."

"You shouldn't. You usually don't waste you time with a girl you can't stand."

"She's the only girl I've dated for more than a month."

"I know."

"Of course you know." He winked at me and I felt weird. Suddenly his closeness made me feel uncomfortable. I tried not to look afraid as I calmly got up and wiped my feet dry.

As I put my jacket back on, Sirius jumped upright. I almost expected him to assault me, but he just walked beside me.

"You know, I really think I should give Regulus a chance."

I stopped walking and faced him. To my surprise, he was looking perfectly sincere. "Really? That's a good idea."

"I thought that, as you're friend with him, it would please you." He shot into a rock again.

"Sirius, please, don't give yourself false excuses."

"It's not false. Not exactly." He grinned a little, and I felt better.

"I don't exactly like your brother, but he seems nice enough, and I'm sure there is something more than gives the eye about that Death Eater thing."

He looked at me intensely. "You...you intend to do something about it? I mean, after school?"

"Yes, of course I intend to! You?"

"Yeah."

"Great, that means we'll just spend even more time together." I rolled my eyes playfully.

"As if you weren't pleased about it." He grinned even more and I felt it coming.

He took my hand. I tried to pull it back but he didn't let go. Instead, he also rounded my waist with his other arm, and I was trapped.

"Let me go!"

"I'll let go if you let go."

"What do you mean, Black?" I was getting angry, but not in my usual way.

"You know what. Say you love me, and I'll let go."

I narrowed my eyes. "You'll might as well grab on me all night then."

"Say it, Vala. Please." His grey eyes were inches from mine, and I got an idea. The worst idea ever, but an idea nevertheless.

When I freed my right hand and wrapped it around his neck to kiss him, he suddenly seemed less interested in words.

This time, it was different. Not because for once I was the one to start the kiss, but because I felt different since my discussion with Dr Almish. I knew what I felt. I just couldn't afford to tell him.

Sirius felt really softer this time. He was tenderly answering my kiss, not as passionately and wildly as the first time. I let go into his chest, but I hadn't forgotten my plan.

When I pulled back, he let me go. I knew he expected me to finally say the words, but I just let go of his hands and walked back to the house.

As I glanced over my shoulder, I saw him grin. "See? You let go, and I didn't say it. I win!" His grin faded.

…**...**

**I'm a bitch. I'm a total bitch... ;)**


	21. Remus' POV

_ A/N: Told you I usually got inspired when I shouldn't... :D_

**21. Remus' POV.**

The following morning, I convoked a special Marauders reunion. I had a very good reason to, and it was really really hard to just tell Vala it was nothing special, just four boys desperately wanting to speak boys to boys. As if.

Vala. I was getting used to her presence in the house, and it was easy for others to compare us with twins, because we were. She was just the the other half of the coin, simply speaking.

So I was there, casually sitting on my bed with James, while Sirius sat crossed-legged on my desk's chair and Peter on the floor, as usual.

Sirius was doing as if he was impatient to know the matter of the meeting, but I knew better, and he was clever.

"So, do you wonder why I asked you to come?"

James shook his head, grinning like the devil, and Sirius shrugged. The only one who really was oblivious, his normal self so, was Peter.

"Yeah, right. Sirius, can you tell us why Lissia dumped you?"

Peter jumped out of his skin and turned his rat-like face towards Padfoot. He looked very annoyed, as if he hadn't wanted us to know.

"No reason. She's an idiot."

James winked. "Yeah, right, we already knew that. She wouldn't have stayed with you that long, not knowing you were mad about someone else."

"I'm not mad about someone else, Prongs." He sighed and tried to find help in my personal papers. Bad luck, the first ones on the pile were Vals' letters from last summer. "Oh. You're talking about Moony's girlfriend!"

I huffed. "Really? Do you still believe there's something between Vals and I?"

"She wouldn't refuse me if she wasn't drawn to someone else, and that couldn't be Dubois."

"That guy's a creep." Peter's voice was high enough for us to hear his disdain. I narrowed my eyes at him. "What? He is! I wouldn't have dumped Vala for another!"

We all burst out laughing. Peter, little gitty Peter, talking about a girl in such terms? Oh my goodness!

"Wormtail, I'm sorry to say you have to back off, Pads' on it." Prongs took my pillow and threw it towards his best friend, who just growled as Snuffles would.

"So, back to subject, why did Alissandra Carter dumped you, Pads?"

He shrugged again. "She thinks I've only gone out with her to make Vala jealous."

"And?" James put his chin in his palm in an attempt to look interested.

"I've only gone out with her to make Vala jealous."

'We already knew that. What did you tell her?"

"I didn't say anything! She kept on yelling nonsense until I got bored and Disapparated back to Prongs'."

My eyes widened. "You left her alone?"

"Right yeah! That girl's a living hell!"

James put his hands up to stop me from arguing about leaving a lonely girl in a dark alley. "What did she tell you else, Pads?"

"Things like "I like her, she's like a friend, I should have seen". Imagine that! I know for sure Vala can't stand her either." James huffed. "What, she does! And then she started hitting me. "I guess that day back from Christmas you weren't waiting for me at all in front of Dumbledore's office!" And then swears, swears and swears." He sighed again. "Girls. They're all bonkers."

"Was she wrong?" I asked gesturing like a play actor.

"No, she wasn't. And that's annoying."

"I told you he was head over heels for your sis', Moony!" James high-fived me, but I wasn't really into it, seeing the glare I won from Sirius.

"She isn't his sister. And she likes him."

I whispered this time, you never knew when she was downstairs or upstairs. "She doesn't like me, Sirius. She likes you. She told me. She just can't tell you."

He backed off and threw the pillow back to James. "Yeah, she can't. Of course. Tell me something else."

James looked at him as his he was the most hideous thing on Earth. "Are you really that stupid? Pads, she's half a werewolf! Of course she wouldn't go out with you!"

"Why not?"

"Because her symptoms are becoming tougher and harder to control as the years go by, and she couldn't bear to hurt you." I wasn't supposed to know that, but I shared more than she thought with Vala.

James narrowed his eyes as did Sirius. "I thought there was a cure."

"She wouldn't do it. They think it'd kill her."

Sirius shot into a pile of books and I sneered. James waved his wand to tidy it up, and I thanked him in a look.

That's at that moment that Vala, clothed like a princess (her clothing senses had improved since she had left her dad), chose to enter my room, her Transfiguration book in one hand and her quill in the other.

"Oh, hey guys! James, can I borrow you for a second? I got a question about metamorphmagi and I know you had a O in your OWLs." She deliberately avoided Sirius' eyes, I saw. I smiled to her a "I saw you" smile and she giggled.

"Yeah, of course Vals. Comin'!" James bolted outside on her heels, after thumbing Sirius with both hands.

When the door closed, Sirius snorted. "She's just...impossible! See how she didn't look at me?" He gestured violently towards the house.

"Merlin, you really like her!" I patted Peter's shoulder to show I agreed.

Really, those two were the perfect couple.

…**...**

**Really, listening to Ghost Score by Nightwish while writing can be dangerous... ^^**


	22. Family mending

_ A/N: Oh my Goodness! I'm slowly wearing to the end of this story, readers! I have it all settled in my head, of course, but I still have no clue of the number of chapters it'll take me to reach it... Enjoy the last ones!_

**22. Family mending.**

Two days after the party, I woke up early to finish my trunk and to prepare myself to go back to Hogwarts. I admit I was really stressed about the oncoming NEWTs, and Helen knew it.

She greeted me with a bonecrushing hug and handed me a new letter's box. I looked up in her wrinkled face.

"I hope you'll use it this time. I want to know everything. You heard me? Everything!"

I giggled. "I swear I'll send one each week, expect when something important happens."

She hugged me once more. "Come on, John's waiting for you."

I kissed her cheek once again, and then got out of the house. My home, I thought. It was a reassuring thought to know you had somewhere you were wanted.

John and Remus were both waiting outside, Rem's trunk standing beside him. John winked at me and I returned the look.

"Are you ready, kids?" We both nodded, and our father took our hands, the others wrapped around our trunk's handles. As we did when we came in, he Apparated us on platform 9 in King's Cross.

I turned to face my foster father, and hugged him tightly. "Thank you for these wonderful holidays, John. I'll count the days until I come back."

He caressed my cheek with his huge hand. "I know you will, Sweetie." He kissed my cheek and then went to hug Rem'. I turned around to see if I wasn't spotting someone I knew, but of course there were too many people for me to see through the crowd.

"Here we go." Remus took his trunk, I took mine, and we got through the barrier hand intertwined, as always.

o°o°o°o°o

We soon found seats in an empty box, and Lily soon rejoined us, even if only to put her trunk down. I hugged her, knowing that it was tense back home, and I could see she had cried again.

James didn't pass by, probably looking for her as usual. But his foster-brother soon honoured us with his presence.

Apparently, the news of his breaking with Lissia had spread like the plague, as a dozen girls were waiting at the box's door, probably waiting for Sirius to look upon them and choose his next victim. I stubbornly turned my head to watch King's Cross Station as we departed.

It was the first time I'd be in the same room as Black since the ball. I wasn't feeling uncomfortable, but it still was somehow odd to be in the same room, on the same seat, that the one you seduced two days before.

Remus gave me a book to read during the first part of the trip, kissed my forehead and tried to fight his way through the crowd to the prefect wagon. Leaving me with Sirius and Peter, who'd soon be chasing the trolley as usual. I sighed and noisily turned the first pages to prevent him from talking to me.

He wasn't talking to me at all, in fact. He was just sitting there, his grey eyes locked on my face as if he was trying to find something beneath the skin. I let him do this for a moment, and then I got annoyed.

"What's with you, Black?" I snapped the book closed and breathed as calmly as I could, sensing my temper coming up my veins. I resisted the urge to take a sip of my newly acquired Temper Potion.

"Nothing, I just like to stare at you." He shot me his famous smirk, but I could tell he wasn't acting the same as his usual arrogant self.

"Well, I'd like you to stop. I'm not a piece of meat, thank you very much!"

My trail of thoughts stopped abruptly as Darren Dubois himself passed before our box, elbowing people on his way, probably to go and find Mary. Our gazes met, he looked over at Sirius, sitting next to me and still gazing upon my face, and I could hear him snort. I couldn't let it in anymore. I fingered him.

My reaction made him smirk even more but he disappeared, leaving a bunch of chocked girls behind him. I fingered them too, and they urged away.

"I'd think about having you near me everytime I feel like taking the train, Vala." So he had seen everything, even with his eyes locked on me, he hadn't lost a piece of it.

I shrugged. "You could just find another girlfriend, and I'm sure they'll let you alone for a moment."

His eyes darkened. "Yeah, I could. Thanks for the tip."

"You're welcome." We were now shooting killing glares to the other, to the point where Peter left earlier than usual on his quest for food. I wouldn't give up, though, and I swore to myself I'd win this eye-battle.

o°o°o°o°o

We never knew who won, or you could say I have, since a figure we didn't recognized at first appeared in the door frame, and Sirius was the first one to turn around.

"Regulus?" My eyes narrowed in surprise.

Sirius' little brother sat in front of his brother, already clothed into his Slytherin robes, and outstretched his hand to me. "Vala, always a pleasure."

I shook his hand, a small smile playing on my lips. Then I saw Sirius' expression. As if an anvil just fell on his head. "I'll just...leave then. See you later!" I got up and walked out of the compartment, not knowing where I'd walk to, probably to the trolley too, as I left the two brothers mending their own hearts.

o°o°o°o°o

"Hey Vals! What are you doing outside?" James hurried up to me in large paces, his Head-Boy sign still glowing in the train's faint light.

"Reg' has finally decided to make a move. I just let them alone for a while."

James' brown eyes widened. "Oh, I see. About bloody time, don't you think?" He leaned casually on the wall, and I just did the same to face him.

"Why? Has Black talked about his brother?"

"Everytime. I think a lot of things remind him of their childhood. You know, apart from this..." he mouthed "Death-Eater" between his teeth, "thing, they always were the best buddies."

"I guess I'd feel the same if I had a sibling on my father's side." I whispered a little, and James quickly patted my arm.

"You have the best bro you could have asked for now!" He fainted extreme enthusiasm.

"We're not exactly what you'd call siblings, James. More like-"

"Twins, yeah, I know. Talking about this, Pads still thinks there's something going on between Moony and you."

My eyes widened. "Really? What an idiot! A blind man could see there's nothing more than an extreme..."

"Brotherly love?"

"Yeah, brotherly love, between the two of us!"

James grinned. "I think that's the final proof he has fallen for you, darling."

I shrugged. "Whatever. I'll never have anyone in my life. There are huge chances I'd soon turn permanently into a rabid dog, so..."

James walked forwards and pushed his hands to my shoulders. "Never say something like that again, Vala. Never, understood? We'll find a way. Everyone who cares about you will find a way. And I'll be your firstborn's godfather."

And he pulled me back to our bow, as if some sixth sense of his knew the two Black brothers had finished their conversation.

o°o°o°o°o

When we reached the glass door of our compartment, Regulus was smiling shyly, looking at his feet, and Sirius was leaning back into his seat, arms and legs crossed, talking about something. James didn't even knock before opening the door in a bolt and sat next to Regulus without paying attention to me.

I rejoined my seat next to Sirius, and Regulus' grey eyes, so alike his brother's, met mine.

"So Reg', are you staying until we reach school?" I grabbed my book once again.

"No, I don't think so. I have my own friends to find, and Severus doesn't really like to get out of the train alone. But thanks for asking."

I nodded and smiled a little, before he got up and outstretched his hand to his brother, who took it, a little smirk playing on his lips.

"See you, Art."

"See you, Siri."

And Regulus left the box, leaving an awkward atmosphere behind him.

James finally let his thoughts out. "So?"

"So what, Prongs?" Sirius turned back into his normal prat self. I sighed.

"Are you finally forgiving your damn brother?"

"It appears that I am, yes." I felt his eyes turn to me for a split second, but I ignored the call and just resumed reading.

The boys started talking about their usual nonsense, leaving the Regulus' matter in the back of their heads.

Inside me, I was blazing with joy.

He had done it. And a part of him did for me.

…**...**

***sigh* I'm soooo thick when it comes to speaking with James.**

**When I think that in the very beginning, Vala had only one true friend! Poor thing!**

**Review, please!**


	23. Falling from high is dangerous

_ A/N: So, readers, I'm sorry to say I'm ready to get to the end of this story... :'( I really loved writing Biting Back, it's probably my favourite of all my Fanfics... I hope it is yours too! :)_

_ If I'm not mistaken, and I can honestly say the two times I said that before I definitely was wrong, but I'm intending to finish this in 4 chapters, including this one._

_ I'm so sorry for those who waited for more!_

_ Maybe, and maybe just if you're nice with me, I'll write an epilogue. But every work needs payment, so I'll need a couple reviews, folks! :)_

**23. Falling from high is dangerous.**

The following weeks were most boring. We all had resumed our lessons, which were more and more consisting into revisions for the oncoming NEWTs, and we had less and less time to see each other.

Remus and I were obviously always visiting the library at the same time, seeing as we always had the same questioning in the same subjects, whereas James, Lily and Peter preferred to work on their own, in their own dorm.

Sirius, on the other hand, was most definitely not studying for his exams. He was hanging here and there with his new girlfriend, called Sarah, or something close.

The first thing that would struck you if you saw her was that she could have been pretty if she wanted. Her blond hair were casually resting on her shoulders, but it wasn't tidied every morning, that's for sure. She didn't wear any make-up, that showed her lack of good sleep, and her clothes were most boring. Always the same blue shirt with the same black trousers.

So, Sarah wasn't my best friend. First, she was dating the boy I liked (even if I was supposed to ignore the feeling), and second, she didn't like me at all. Beside her, Lissia was a joy to live with.

That morning, fortunately, or maybe not, there was a Quidditch match, the last of the season, which would see Gryffindor and Slytherin fighting to the death for the Quidditch Cup. So I wasn't at all surprised to see James, in his Keeper outfit, nearly falling on his bench, his face torn as if (and I was sure that was the case) he hadn't slept.

"James." I greeted him by pushing a cup of pumpkin juice towards him, and he thanked me with a look.

"Vals."

Remus bounced next to me and caught everything he could within his reach. I started giggling.

"Rem', you're not playing today, can you explain why you're eating as if the world would end in an hour?"

He pushed a jam toast into my plate. "Eat too, Vala, you'll need it."

"I'm not playing!"

"No, but you definitely want your brains to work when they start cursing Gryffindors." He pointed towards Slytherin table, and I could see they were all eager to send spells towards us if we won.

I smirked towards them. "They can try."

"That's my Vals!" James' enthusiasm was as strange as to be noticed, so I turned back to my friends, and saw that he was hardly looking at Sirius, who was silently sitting next to him, playing with his food.

I knew something was odd, but Merlin knows I didn't want to know why. "James, are you expecting me to curse Mulciber today?"

"Definitely him and that Goyle idiot. Maybe Crabbe too. And Rosier."

I just nodded and took a bite in my toast. "Noted."

Lily came to sit by me and stole my breakfast. I didn't complain. "Good morning, sunshine!"

I saw she was looking at Sirius, and once more I thought something was really really off. "Seriously, what is it, guys?" I waved my hands in the air in a playful way.

"You could ask Pads, he'd tell you." James finger-shot a piece of bread which landed in his glass.

"Sirius wants to go home."

I narrowed my eyes. "Really? You can't be-" I didn't say the word, I knew too many jokes about it.

Sirius just rolled his eyes. "Just for the summer. To see if it gets any better."

I got up and stubbornly avoided his eyes. "Really, for someone who told me so much about "getting used to it", you seem really eager to resume your little Daddy's-son life, Black." And I calmly walked out of the Hall, followed by a hundred of quizzical glances. I just shot back killing ones.

o°o°o°o°o

About one hour later, I found myself sitting next to Remus in Gryffindor's bleachers, just in the front row. If I bowed forward, I could see right below the silk tower. So much for my fear of heights.

"You know, you really touched him earlier." Remus avoided my eyes, so I turned back to glare at Mrs Hooch, who had just entered the pitch.

"It was necessary. He'll live through it."

"He's been trying to do the right thing for a while now, Vals."

"Then he still doesn't know what's the right thing to do." I shut the conversation and watched as Slytherin Quidditch team entered the pitch, covered by their house's hurrays and the other houses' boos.

"I really hope we win. I'd just love to curse this little Rosier boy knocked off."

Remus didn't answer.

"Students, teachers, headmaster, welcome to our traditional Quidditch Cup Great Final! Today, we'll finally see the two high scorers of the year, Slytherin, with 780 points, and Gryffindor, with 620 points! Let the game begin!"

And I could finally follow the dance of the brooms. Placed as we were, I had James right in front of me, a few feet above. Lily had already flew off to Slytherin goals, and we marked first. I cheered, as usual, but saw that James was looking rather gloomy today, and not much into the game.

I hoped it wouldn't be as distracting as to make us lose the game.

Sirius shot a Bludger towards Flint, who dodged but bumped into Ferguson, who fell off his broom and awarded Lily another mark.

I soon became bored, and so I started eyeing James and his every reaction to the game, which were really fainting with time.

o°o°o°o°o

About half an hour later, not one team had caught the Snitch, though I could easily see it flying here and there between the pitch's end and the teachers' tower.

Suddenly, everything froze. Flint had been able to shoot a Bludger towards James, who hadn't been as keen as to dodge it. And now, he was slowly but surely falling off his broomstick, knocked out.

The Slytherins started to block the Gryffindors to make sure their captain would fall hard to the ground.

I stopped breathing. I sensed a heinous feeling coming up from my stomach to my brain, and I stopped thinking as I jumped over the ramp.

o°o°o°o°o

I fell quicker than James, but still slowly enough for my brain to kick back in, and a survival feeling made me twist into the air cat-like.

I landed onto the grass on my two feet, hands on the ground, nails the size of claws, and I growled so hard the air himself stopped talking.

I quickly rushed towards where James would be falling, and I braced myself to receive the chock.

When he landed on me and crushed my leg with his, all I could think about was that he would live. I had saved him. As pretentious as it sounds, I still believe that was the case.

Hell froze over as spells were shot above me, and I saw the two teams battling each other, Mrs Hooch helplessly trying to stop the fight, as Prs McGonagall and Dumbledore were running towards us.

As our headmaster's hand touched my forehead, I blanked.

…**...**

**I like to think Vala risked her life for James, when she really didn't like him at first... :)**

**As usual, tell me what you think about it!**

**Cheers!**


	24. NEWTs

_ A/N: I keep on thanking people for making my dreams come true! If I'm any good at writing, it's mostly because some of you weren't afraid of criticizing my writing, and you made it better! Thanks again!_

**24. NEWTs.**

I had awaken on the following afternoon, surrounded by Pr McGonagall, Mme Pomfrey, Remus and James. The latter thanked me during what seemed like hours, and I couldn't help but laugh at his expression.

"I have acted on an impulse, I didn't plan it! But, hey, I couldn't let you fall and break your neck, could I?" I had told him.

Remus had been there all along, of course, as his status of "brother" permitted him. My Househead, however, was there for another and graver purpose.

It had occurred, as I feared, that my outburst, however brave it was, was conducted by my inner wolf, and that, if Pompom recalled it well, I had taken my potion not two hours prior. After tests were made on my unconscious form, she had discovered that the potion had worn out quicker than it should have, but that it still had a small effect on my temper.

It was then decided that, for my oncoming NEWTs, I'd drink thrice the usual amount of potion, with awful chances that it would just appear to quicken the process of rejection, but with a small chance that it would still help me focus during the exams.

No need to say that, in such conditions, I was in an even more stressful mood. Remus, of course, was always glued to me when I was studying, and strangely, since the episode in the Quidditch pit, no other student seemed to bear my presence. They were all running away from me as if I had the plague.

But I got used to it, and my usual old and ordinary life started where it had ended.

o°o°o°o°o

The first exam I had, unfortunately, was Defence against the Dark Arts. Of course, Pr Freeman had been told that I could have a difficulty focusing on my work, but I dealt as I did usually, and though he teamed me with Darren for the practise part of the examination, I was as focused not to listen to the growls of my inner soul.

"Okay, so, Vala, Darren, this is an exercise much like those we practised in class. Vala, you start attacking, Darren, you block, and then reverse. No out-loud spells, thank you."

I looked over at the examinators. An old woman from the Ministry was stubbornly avoiding my gaze, while another relatively old man glared at me as if to make me look down. Which I didn't.

When I turned back to Darren and saw his arrogant smirk on his face, saying "You're fucked", I just couldn't let it pass. I'd kick his ass so hard he wouldn't be able to sit for a week.

_Petrificus Totalus. Protego. Stupefy._ Dodged. _Impedimenta. Protego._

After a while, I started sighing in boredom. I lifted my wand and that move told Darren he could start attacking me.

He started easy, and I still could see him mutter the words very low under his breath. _Stupefy_. I walked aside. _Expelliarmus. Protego. Reducto_. I dodged again.

I then saw some kind of flame in Darren's eyes. Some flame I never saw before, and it frightened me. I'd seen that flame in someone else's eyes, on a very cloudy day for the world. I had seen that flame in Rosier's eyes, on the day he had tried to torture me using the Cruciatus Curse.

"_Legilimens_!" It took me off guard, and I didn't have time to lift my wand to block the curse. I collapsed on the floor as I felt some stranger's soul touch mine, and the feeling made me want to vomit.

Some scenes danced before my eyes. _The day I've been bitten by Rem'. The day Darren had asked me out. The day Darren told me he was going back to France for Jocelyn. The day Sirius had talked to me in the train. The day Sirius kissed me in the staircase. The night he had kissed me in the forest. Me dancing with Remus at the Christmas Ball. Me dancing with Sirius at the Christmas Ball. Joshua spitting his venom at my face. Helen hugging me. Dr Almish asking me if I had a __boyfriend. Our afternoon at the Lake with Remus. My fake kiss with Sirius at the Lupins' Ball. And finally, Sarah slapping me when I asked her if she knew what a comb was._

I broke from the spell and opened my eyes. Darren was lying on the floor too, his eyes blazing with rage as he had too seen my memories. So happy ones. So sad ones. My life. He had just raped my intimacy. I just wanted to rip his throat and kill him.

I growled.

Pr Freeman was in front of me at once, taking my already clawy hands in his, glaring at me in an attempt to calm me down.

The old man from the Ministry helped Darren up and started telling him how much in trouble he was. I didn't listen.

"Vala?" Pr Freeman's eyes were a soft dark, and I could see he wasn't concerned about the things I could do to him if my temper didn't go down. He genuinely was concerned about me. "Vala, please, focus on my breath."

The same trick Rem' used on our first day of school, back in September. I focused on my teacher's breathing, and I quickly calmed down.

He then helped me and walked me to Remus, who was expectantly waiting for me outside of the Great Hall.

"Take care of her, Remus, if you'd be so kind. I have to talk to Mr Dubois." And he nearly slammed the door behind him, leaving the awaiting students look at me quizzically, some more afraid than others.

"Vals? Come, I'll drive you to the kitchens." And I didn't see a thing as my dearest brother/creator walked me downstairs, where I received the biggest chocolate chunk I've ever seen in my life.

o°o°o°o°o

After that really awful day, the teachers were always watching me carefully, as if I could break anytime they turned around. But nothing happened before History of Magic.

I had always loathed that subject, not because of the matter, but because of the teacher. Pr Binns always sent shivers down my spine when he was talking about the horrid war between wizards and goblins in a tone that showed his total disinterest.

So, when I entered the classroom and sat to prepare myself for the hardest of all exams, I didn't fail to notice that the potion I had just taken had already worn out.

As everybody started taking their places, and when Sirius sat next to me with his girlfriend just in front of him, I started breathing evenly. Remus noticed, of course, and sat on my other side, putting a comforting hand upon my own.

"Do you want Sirius to move?" He was whispering, but I could hear him as if he had just yelled.

"No."

"Okay. Calm down, think about something quiet. The Lake would do."

I tried to focus on the day where we had played in the water, the quietness I felt, the delicious silence surrounding us, and then the birds songs above our heads as we headed home.

But all of this just cracked down when my copy appeared in front of my eyes.

Not that the questions were difficult. Not that I couldn't answer. But my temper was already so high within me that the pure sight of an examination made me lose it.

I don't remember how I ended in Pr Dumbledore's office, but apparently I had frightened most of my class.

o°o°o°o°o

"Vala." He sighed my name, and I knew I was in trouble. "My dear, I am very much aware that you are still struggling with your...problem, but I fear that it puts us both in a difficult position." His blue eyes pierced through my soul, and I sighed in fear.

"How much in trouble am I?" I looked down, fearing he might say the fatal words: "You're evicted."

"You're not in trouble. Not yet. There hasn't been anybody hurt, fortunately, so-"

"Yet, you mean nobody's hurt...yet."

"No, Vala, I didn't mean that. I think your...how do you say again?"

"Inner wolf."

"Yes, Your inner wolf. Well, it seems quite under control, actually. No bloodlust, no bites, quite impressive, I should say." He leaned in and our foreheads were almost touching when he resumed his speech. "Vala, you already failed at three exams since the beginning of your session."

I started panting. "DADA, I suppose?"

"No, as strange at it seems, Pr Freeman seems to like you quite. He gave you a E." I hadn't the time to sigh in relief. "No, you failed in three other subjects. Runes, to start with." I nodded. I had been awfully stressed that day, and I collapsed in the middle of the exam. "And then History of Magic, of course. But the strangest might be that you failed in Transfiguration." I lifted my eyebrows. Pr McGonagall gave me an F? "Minerva told me you had been very keen in turning your bowl into a knife for than thrice in a row. She thought it might be a sign."

I shook my head. "I just couldn't do it."

"I'm sure you have good excuses, Vala, I'm sure of it, really. But the problem is, you see, that with Transfiguration and Runes failed, you can't pass. These were two of your three mains options, with DADA, which is the only you passed."

"So I'm failing this year?" I wasn't even sad about it, just...merely surprised.

"Yes. The problem is, dearest, that the Ministry doesn't give you the opportunity to resume your seventh year in these conditions."

I felt the world spin around me, and I panted even harder. "They...they think I'm a-"

"Yes, I'm afraid the prejudices Remus lives are counting for you too, now. I am really sorry, Vala, genuinely sorry."

"I know, Professor, I know."

He patted my shoulder and went to stand by his phoenix, leaving me at peace to think about what I had just learnt.

So I was evicted, in a way. I would never been given a job, because of my lack of diplomas and because of what I was. And worse, I would never be able to focus anymore, because my pathology became more and more present. Soon, I'd remain stuck into an half wolfy form.

I got up, paced towards my headmaster, and stood behind him, clearing my throat as I opened my mouth to say the most important thing of my life.

"I want to take the cure."

…**...**

**So this is it. I fear in two chapters time, you'll just have to say goodbye to Vala and the others. My last Marauders' story before long, I fear. Snifff... :'(**

**review please!**


	25. Fire, blazing and blinding fire

_ A/N: So here's the part I've waited to write for, like, a thousand years... ^^_

**25. Fire, blazing and blinding fire.**

I remember that day perfectly. That day, I had ceased to be Vala Emerald. I had plainly and painfully become Vala Lupin. Forever and ever.

As soon as I had told Pr Dumbledore I wanted the cure, he had driven me to the Hospital Wing, thinking that I would feel better at school than at St Mungo's.

When he turned the doorknob, I was welcomed by a bunch of people I'd know anywhere.

The Doctor Almish was the first to greet me, with her warm smile and sad eyes. She put her hands on my shoulders and kissed my forehead, whispering something that looked awfully like "I'm proud of you".

Helen's and John's arms were the next to envelope me. They couldn't talk, and more than once I had to wipe a tear on their cheeks. I kissed them both and told them how much I was proud to be their daughter, even if we didn't share the same blood.

Remus was waiting next to the bed I used to sleep in whenever I was visiting the wing. He didn't say a thing, he just took my hand in his when I climbed into the white sheets, and crushed my fingers to dust, glazing into my eyes with his radiant amber orbs.

James and Lily were there as well, of course. Lily just kissed my cheek, when James allowed himself to hug me so tightly I couldn't breathe.

In fact, there was only one person missing.

"James, wher-"

He apologized in a glance. "I'm so sorry, Vals. There was nothing I could say that would have made him come. I'm so sorry."

My heart made a crunching sound as I realised Sirius didn't want to come. I was about to die, one way or the other, and he wasn't there to say goodbye.

Remus wiped my tears away. "Vala, I-"

I shushed him with my hand. "Dr Almish, can we start, please?"

My doctor nodded and walked towards Mme Pomfrey. Pompom gave me a painless potion that she hoped would work, and then I suddenly saw a huge needle resting in her hand.

She kissed my forehead too, and then pushed the needle to my arm. The pain wasn't that bad, when you were prepared.

Before I blacked out, I heard a door open, and the last thing I saw was a pair of grey eyes, running towards me.

o°o°o°o°o

The pain was everywhere. Everywhere. It was so excruciating that it was a miracle that I was still alive. Or so I thought I was alive. As far as I was concerned, I could possibly be as dead as a fried fish.

A fried fish, that's exactly what I felt like. A burning fire, starting in my arm, where the needle had entered my flesh, and spreading in every direction. Not a single inch of me wasn't burning. And I felt as if I wasn't breathing too, as if my whole body was dying slowly and painfully.

There was something more too. A howl, a suffering creature inside of me, screaming in pain, and the horrible feeling of having a part of me ripped away from my soul.

And, as my soul and body were both ripped apart by a different force – razor sharp and fire, I started losing sight of reality, and it was as if Darren had cursed the Legilimency over me again.

_My first memories. I was four. I was running around the living-room at Joshua's. My dark red hair, all curled as a puppet's, were bouncing on my shoulders as I heard the high-pitch noise of my laugh. I saw Minny, as she was racing me to prevent me from breaking anything._

_ Later. I was eight. Joshua was watching me carefully as I was making a book levitate round the library. My hair, that I had cut out of rage, were spiking in every direction. I was wearing a short black dress, and was barefooted, as always. The book levitated to its place on the bookshelf, and I looked at my father with fierce eyes, betting him to do the same. And I rushed out of the room._

_ My first day of school. I was wearing my school robes for the first time. Minny had washed them thrice the previous day, to be absolutely sure I'd be perfect for my first day. The look on the other girls' faces as we climbed into the boats. My first glimpse of Remus' sandy-brown hair. The feeling that unnerved my body as he looked at me and smiled shyly. My name being shouted my Pr McGonagall. The Sorting Hat, yelling "Gryffindor" in the Great Hall, the joy and pride I felt as I sat down with the other first years. The twinge in my throat when I remembered my father wanted me in Ravenclaw._

_ The first day of classes, in Sorts. I mastered _Wingardium Leviosa_ in one try. Pr Flitwick's face when I asked him if I could get out early, as I already knew it. The points he gave me. The pride I felt._

_ My first Christmas out of home. My first presents. The bracelet my grandmother sent me. The new wand-caring kit Dad had offered me._

That _day. I was walking in the Cadogan area of the school, when I had heard Remus crying. I had tried to comfort him, but all I could do was making him angrier by the second. The moment when I fell on the ground, lifting my arm above my head so it would protect me from anything Remus would try to do to me. His teeth, showing between his lips. Him tripping and planting his sharp teeth in my arm flesh. The pain, the burning._

_ The following day, when I woke up in the Hospital Wing. Mme Pomfrey explaining to me. The chock on Joshua's face. The chock I felt too. The pride to be someone special._

_ My first outburst. My surprise when my nails grew so quick I never saw it happen. My eyes growing dark. And my mind, losing sight. I woke up in the wing again, covered in bandages. I had scratched myself to bleed._

_ My first discussion with Remus. My sudden need to see him more and more often. My sudden need to take him in my arms._

_ Our kiss. I had asked him to try it, because I was curious about it. His lips on mine. The feelings of awkwardness and kissing-your-brother type._

_ My first glimpse of Sirius. The hard crunching of my heart, and my temper that immediately went up._

_ The days I spent, hiding in the corner of the Commons, eyeing him warily and still eagerly._

_ The day I decided to loathe him forever._

_ The day I realised I was in love with him. In front of Dr Almish. The feeling of loss and lost time._

The thoughts tracked away as the burning became even more unbearable. The sharpening on my heart made my body lift itself on the sheets, even though I couldn't feel it under me. I fell back, and the soft pain I felt in my back wasn't anything like the one that was now tracing tongues of fire on my entire skin.

My hair felt on fire, as if every inch of it was smoking. My eyes were red, I couldn't lift my eyelids as the fire was dancing before my hurting irises. I couldn't feel my hands, as if they were already burnt to ashes. My legs and feet were sour, as if they were about to fade into darkness.

Then I realised. The pain was wearing over.

First it came off my feet, then legs, then it lingered on my stomach, and it stopped on my chest. My hands were free already, as were my arms, safe for my scar, that was still blazing hot, and the pain, there too, stopped on my chest. My head, too, was soon emptied of fire, but I still couldn't open my eyes, as my hands suddenly clenched the sheets beside me in an attempt to stop the pain.

My heart starting pacing slower, and I felt I was breathing again. But it was still on fire, and my scar was becoming harder and harder not to rip apart.

And then, the pain just disappeared on my chest. Just like that. As if someone had blown the candle out.

I felt my breath become heavier, as if I was under stress, and I focused to keep it quiet. And then it struck me. Usually, I would have been able to hear anything around me within a ten yards radius. Then, nothing. I just could hear nothing. And then, a soft noise. Someone, moving close to me and crunching the bed frame under his or her grasp. A soft breathing, too.

And then a yell. "Mme Pomfrey! She is breathing!"

Remus' voice. I'd know it anywhere.

I longed to open my eyes, to lock it on his scarred and cute face, to wrap my arms around him and to tell him I'd done it, I wasn't half a monster anymore. I had survived the process.

But then, my arm began hurting even more, and if someone was cutting into my flesh and bone, to remove my limb from me while I was conscious. I tried to yell, but no sound escaped my mouth.

And then, it was it. The half of my soul that contained my inner wolf just snapped out of me, by my arm.

And it was over.

I snapped my eyes open.

…**...**

**So, what do you think? :)**

**Before you ask, yes, I have read Breaking Dawn, and as much as I genuinely hate Twilight, I quite liked that part of the book. So, basically, Vala's turning to human is inspired by Bella's turning to vampire...**

**Review please!**


	26. Waking up

_ A/N: Phew, how am I gonna end this? D'you wonder too? Well, the only way is Essex, they said... :p Wait, was that even - okay, I'll just shup it up..._

_ Oh, and before you say so or think so, I know, my title sucks... :)_

**26. Waking up.**

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was nothing. The world was a blurred dark. And then it turned greyer and greyer, until the colours entered my vision again.

Of the pain, nothing left, apart from the taste of it in my mind. Had that even been a real pain? I'll never know.

As blue, green and red slowly made their way to my mind, I tested my ears. I could hear my own breathing, of course, and a thumping noise that could only be my heart, pacing calmly within my chest. And then, another breathing, and another again.

One, two, three, four people were gathered around me. And, lying on my back as I was, I couldn't see them yet.

As I tried to make a move to sit down, I heard a huff. Like, a concerned huff.

I decided to test my tongue too.

"Is anybody going to help me up, please?" At first, my voice was lower and graver than usual, and by the end of the demand, it had gone back into its usual tone and shape. I was relieved. That, at least, was still functioning.

I felt a pair of strong arms snaking under my back and pushing me up. I didn't recognize the touch at first, and then it all made sense.

"Rem'? Is that you?"

I heard a small chuckle and I knew it was him. I widened my eyes in search for a better light, but my vision was still blur as hell.

"Madame Pomfrey, are you there too?"

"Yes, little darling, I am here. Do you-"

"Why is it that I can't see a thing without seeing spots everywhere?"

"Oh, sorry, Vala. Here." I felt a pair of glasses being pushed to my nose, and I could see.

I turned on my spot. They were all standing at the right of my bed. Remus was the closest, of course, then came Mme Pomfrey, who had just given me glasses (let me think about it later), and then Helen and John.

I smiled a wide smile to my parents, and they landed in my arms. Hugging, kissing every part of me they could reach. And Remus' laugh, the one I loved so much.

"Calm down, please. Vala needs rest." My parents gave up on me with a smile, and I was empty again.

I knew it was coming.

"So...how long have I been out?"

Mme Pomfrey exchanged a sorry look with Remus, and then turned back to me. "Two weeks, little darling, two entire weeks."

I narrowed my eyes.

Oh my God. Two entire weeks. That meant we were at least the 8th July. Bugger. I really had no chances left to pass my seventh.

o°o°o°o°o

After a long-awaited breakfast (thanks to the House-Elves), I finally was able to walk a little in the Hospital Wing, at first with the support of Remus, and then on my own. But no one wanted me to step in front of a mirror yet. That frightened me.

I came to sit on my bed once more. "So, how much am I wolf still?"

Mme Pomfrey giggled. "Oh, that had been taken care of days ago. I can honestly say you weren't a wolf after three days."

I lifted my eyebrows. "Then why have I been out so long?"

"Dr Almish believes it was your inner wolf personality trying to stay some more." Remus sat next to me. "But I think it succeeded in some way." He giggled and took my hand. "Now you really are my sister." He kissed my cheek, and I pushed him away.

"I really want a mirror, now, please."

Helen nodded at Mme Pomfrey, and John went to sit on my other side. "This can be a chock, my dear. It started a week after the treatment started. But this isn't bad at all."

"How much in trouble am I? The glasses I can manage, but-"

"Oh, the glasses suit you really well." Helen giggled a little. "And you look thousands more seductive like this."

Mme Pomfrey came back with a hand-mirror, and I slowly pulled it up to my face.

"Oh." That was the only thing I could say.

My hair hadn't changed, that went well. It was my eyes. My eyes all over. And my cheeks. And ears. Gosh, my ears!

My ears, first, were completely elf shaped. Or wolf shaped, I suppose. They were pointy, but round, a paradox and yet something really suiting. I still looked like my old self. My cheeks were higher, that made me look older. I could manage those two.

But my eyes had changed colour. I never thought that was possible, but it was. My eyes were now amber! Amber with a touch of green. Nothing like their old blue.

Remus squeezed my hand. "See? Now we look like real twins!" And he pushed his face to mine so both our figures appeared in the mirror.

And it was true. We looked the same. His cheekbones were as high as mine, his eyes a faint amber, melted with brown, and his ears were little less pointy than mine.

I pushed the mirror down and locked my eyes with Mme Pomfrey's. "How?"

"We don't know yet. But we're sure nothing wolfy lives in you anymore. Apart from these...features. Do you want-"

"No, I like it. The eyes are the strangest, but I'll get used to it. Why is it that I need glasses?"

"Usually, teenagers discover they need glasses by the time you were bitten. We all guess your pathology prevented you from needing them until now."

"Well, I would have preferred to have them from the beginning. My vision really is awful."

They all giggled.

That's when they entered the room.

o°o°o°o°o

Pr Dumbledore was smiling, as always, and his piercing blue eyes were soft on my face.

We shook hands. "That's quite nice to see you in good shape, Miss Eme-"

"I'd prefer if you called me Miss Lupin, Professor. Don't you think that's more appropriate?"

He nodded and winked. "Indeed. Do you feel well?"

"Never better, thank you."

I then turned to face Pr McGonagall, standing a few steps behind her Headmaster. I nodded to her, and she shook hands with me too.

"Miss Lupin, nice to see you."

"You too, Professor."

"Well, now that we are all gathered, Vala, I have news for you." Pr Dumbledore handed me a piece of parchment, which bore his own handwriting. "I had to write it myself this morning, when I heard the news of your awakening."

I ran my eyes on the paper. I quickly felt myself urging to hug my headmaster, but I stopped myself halfway and just nodded.

"Is it true? I can pass my three exams again?"

He giggled a little. "Yes, it is true. Your professors are all ready to work one more day when you feel prepared for it."

"Oh, thank you so much, Sir, you really don't know how much it means to me." And I smiled a real, real smile.

"I do know, actually."

They both shook hands with me again, and then they parted.

Remus and I danced around the room, and Helen and John giggled all the way.

I really was happy.

o°o°o°o°o

A week after I woke up, I had resumed my life at home. I had officially become Vala Lupin, as signed in the Ministry few days before, and I had passed all my exams. I still waited for the results, but that much didn't stress me out.

I had had news from Lily, who was on holidays in France with James' family, but still nothing from Sirius.

Rem' had told me that, on that day, he had effectively arrived at the same moment Mme Pomfrey needled me, and that he parted soon after, when I had started screaming in pain. He hadn't had any news of him after that.

So, that morning, I was prepared to do anything in my powers to find him, and either slap him or kiss him. Knowing me, I'd rather go with the second option.

I grabbed my wand and my jean jacket, and slowly Disapparated from home to Square Grimmauld. I had been there once, with Remus, the first time I had tried to get a grip. But it hadn't worked and we had ran away like two cowards.

This time, I fiercely walked up to the number twelve's door, and knocked.

I waited a little, but soon, a House-Elf opened the door. He really was the ugliest creature I'd ever seen, but still, I was going to be courteous.

"Hello. Is Regulus home?"

The Elf started mumbling something under his breath, but someone ran from the dark and didn't let him say whatever he'd have said.

It was Regulus himself, thanks Merlin.

"Hello, can I-" His eyes widened big time when he recognized me. "Vala? Is that you?"

I smiled shyly. "Yes. Quite a change, eh?"

"Yes, quite. Do you want to come in?"

"No. I mean, it would be a pleasure, but I'm looking for your brother, actually."

His eyes glittered and he smirked. The same bloody smirk than his brother. "Oh. Well, that's a shame, he just parted."

I couldn't hide my deception.

"But I'm sure he's not that far. He said he'd go to the park before going back to James'."

I looked up. "The park?"

"Yes, you take that lane" he pointed it to me "and then right, and you're there."

I kissed him on the cheek before quasi running in that direction. "Thank you so much, Regulus. See you soon!"

"Yeah, I'm counting on it, step-sister!"

I hadn't the time to sneer at him. I was running so quickly I might have tripped on any rock on my way. People were looking at me as I was passing, but I couldn't care less.

After eight minutes forty-six seconds (yes I counted) of running, I arrived in sight of the park.

I entered the small patch of grass and flowers, and tried as hard as I could to spot Sirius' long brown hair in the crowd.

And then here he was. Not five meters away from me. Turning his back to me, but still, it was him. I would recognize this jacket anywhere.

He had cut his hair. And it suited him.

He turned around slowly, as if he was aware of being stared at. His grey eyes met my amber ones. They widened.

I smiled big time. He just kept looking stunned.

I can't say what emotion crossed his face when I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Sirius? Please ask."

His eyes widened even more, and then his mind reached recognition. He smirked that smirk I couldn't resist much.

"Vala? Can I kiss you?"

And for all answer, I locked my lips to his.

…**...**

**Hate me, love me, do whatever you want, but this story has ended.**

**I can, it's not impossible, post one or two epilogues, but not just now, you'll have to be patient.**

**Please tell me what you think about Vala's new look and this ending.**

**I loved writing this, and all I can say is I'm in love with Remus, I have a huge crush on Sirius and I'd love to have Regulus as a bro. Told you I was a Nerd! :p**


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